Friday, August 08, 2003

le parcours

News Flash: A Scandalized Europe Under Sustained Attack by God Almighty! "What did we do to deserve this?" Europeans heard to mutter. Thunderous reply from the heavens: "No reason. I just think you're assholes, and it's funny because you blancos sunburn so easily. I also wanna see if I can kill enough crops and cattle to force you to eat genetically engineered American food products. So shut up and burn! Ha ha ha ha ha!!"

Not wanting to leave anyone out, the Good Lord is planning a few hurricane-sized bowling balls to roll toward America (and I think a typhoon is on its way here. BTW, note the name of the guy who wrote the article!)...

On the Arnold front: the wife still stand by her man.

Also on the Arnold front: will POTUS give him a boost?

And a third Arnoldian post: The California judiciary rolls over and plays dead-- GOOD!

Rats: 1
NYC Firefighters: 0
Alas. Ship the rats to NK. They need food.

Anglican schism watch: Go on. Leave. Form your little Christian Nazi party, pissant homophobes.

Amazing: Our guys haven't caught Saddam, but they're apparently tracking him by the numerous bowel movements he leaves behind!

Jemaah Islamiyah takes credit for Jakarta hotel bombing.

Upset that Marilyn Manson can enter Korea but their leader can't, 700 Raelians will go on a hunger strike. There's no stupidity like human stupidity.

The dark side of Harry Potter's world!

The BBC still reports on some things well. For instance, there's this: do you think you know ALL the functions of an erect penis?

On another penis-related note, there's tragedy in Wichita Falls.

Then there's this: penises also possess transformative powers.

Arnold faces brutal competition in the recall election... but not from Arianna Huffington.

Karma watch: Sneaky teen caught in bear trap.

The violent potenial of feces.

Damn. This is amazing.

Everything you already suspected about Steven Seagal, but in print.

Yang suicide watch: the latest jiggling in an increasingly blubberous scandal. WILL YANG JUMP? Is the Blue House tall enough?? I suggest the Korean World Trade Center or the Yuksam Building.

Koreans don't wanna git down to bidness.

South Korean troops to train with Russians in multinational exercise, along with Japan and the US. This could support the school of thought that says China will hesitate to involve itself in a peninsular conflict. If Russia's involvement in this training exercise (it's a first, apparently) indicates something deeper, then I think China may have a lot to worry about.

Some Koreabloggers are asking why we aren't shooting to kill when Hanch'eongryon student demonstrators illegally sneak into our military bases. Here's an article about how we're peeved & asking the SK govt to punish these assholes. And the Marmot provides excellent commentary on the situation. I suspect we aren't shooting to kill because the martyrdom dynamic will be in full swing: Korean college students ruthlessly gunned down for speaking their minds! But on the positive side: non-martyred Seoulites might reduce their complaints about our troops leaving the area.

Also saw this on Marmot: The Hominid takes on Captain Scarlet of Silent Running - a continuation of his "Thoughts on WSJ's "The Next Korean War." I look forward to Scarlet's reply - the Marmot's Hole would be more than happy to serve as a venue for this debate.

I'm not looking for a fight. I said my piece, and I'm all better now. I'm also not looking for a sustained debate, since the Cap'n (I guess it's a guy after all... why Scarlet, for God's sake?) probably does have more facts at his fingertips than I do. But he sounded like he didn't know what the fuck he was talking about when he (1) questioned whether NK would actually attack Seoul in the event of a crisis, and (2) stated his belief that NK doesn't have nukes. Yes, the jury's out on that one, but I don't think it's a safe assumption. Meantime, he evinces the same "we'll whomp their asses" unconcern for heavy civilian losses. You GO, white boy! This won't be Iraq, Scarlet. Anyway, nuff said. Let him rave, if he wants to. But thanks to Scarlet, again, for forcing me to do research and basically find out I'm not off base in my speculations. Meantime, I think I'll stick to Chief Wiggles and his ilk when I want a real military blogger. You know-- people actually in the places they're writing about.

Kevin at IA has been peeling apart his digital buttock cheeks and dumping chunkily on the "flash-mobbing" phenomenon. I can't wait for this fad to hit Korea. Ye gods. The latest development: he seems to have gotten his first hate mail from a probable flash-mobber under the delusion that flash-mobbing isn't lame. Luckily, he reassures me by responding to his critic with overwhelming force-- very hapkido. Go and enjoy Kevin's pungent posts on flash-mobbing and Koreana (or should I say "koreanalia," since "Koreana" is already taken?).

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