Tuesday, January 13, 2004

not good weather for queefing

Dinner at a Korean-style Japanese joint in Chongno was quite nice; I had the soba jeongshik and some mul mandu while Jang-woong had a good ol' dol-sot bibim-bap.

The cold continues. It started snowing in the early afternoon, and a lot of the snow melted on contact with the ground, then refroze when the winds picked up, creating all sorts of diabolical ice patches. Boogers were flash-frozen. I could hear my dingleberries tinkling like delicate glass Christmas ornaments as I walked. Fart clouds solidified instantly on contact with the frigid air, and shattered greenly on the pavement. My nipples, which I've trained to vibrate at several kHz to generate heat under my coat, were working overtime, whirring away.

I've noted a few changes in the Chongno area, things that happened in my absence. For one thing, the Chonggak Station underground passageways are no longer blocked with construction. The underground shopping arcade, now open, looks much the same, but shinier. Over at Youngpoong Bookstore, they've completely renovated the downstairs. The old fast food joints at Youngpoong are gone: no more subterranean Sbarro and Hardees. Instead, we've got Schlotszky's Deli (my mother can't stand the "Schlotszky's On the Brain" commercials in the States). I tried their stuff. Definitely not worth the price. A small sandwich, no bigger than Britney Spears's right buttock, was consumed in two quick bites. The tiny bag of potato chips was also massacred with little effort, and the so-called New England clam chowder was little more than a bowl of congealed elephant semen. I'd rather have Sbarro back.

Am still suffering from jet lag, so I think I'll stop here. I'm curious about whether a urine stream would freeze solid if I were to let fly while out in the open, but then the question is whether I'd be stuck to the spot, unable to waddle away from curious policemen. If I do try this experiment, Dear Reader... it's doubtful I'll be blogging about it.


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