Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Hollande, God, and France's future

François Hollande is the new president of France. Alas. Just the other day, his plane was struck by lightning. Upon learning of this, I shot the following brief email to my French "brother" Dominique:

Il paraît que le bon Dieu n'aime pas les socialistes: j'ai lu que l'avion d'Hollande a été récemment frappé par la foudre, et que l'avion a dû faire demi-tour. "Putain! Raté!" crie la déité d'une voix de tonnerre. Quelle façon de commencer son mandat! (Ou peut-être que le coup de foudre a été généré par le gouvernement français pour signaler le début d'une nouvelle époque...?)

Translation:

It appears the Good Lord doesn't like socialists: I read that Hollande's plane was recently struck by lighting, and the plane had to turn around. "Fuck! Missed!" shouts the deity in a thunderous voice. What a way to begin one's term! (Or maybe the lightning bolt was generated by the French government to signal the beginning of a new epoch...?)

The reply I got was hilarious:

ben c'est un type normal, alors quand il pleut, il prend tout sur la tête, quand, y a de l'orage, son avion prend la foudre, comme tout le monde, normal, quoi, d'ici qu'il attrape une maladie contagieuse, la grippe aviaire!!! aller, tu as le droit de rire parce que ça devient ridicule tout ça, un type normal qui invite à manger aujourd'hui les anciens premiers ministres socialistes à bouffer à l'Elysée... il a demandé à son ex femme de ne pas venir à l'Elysée pour sa prise de fonction (normal), et le premier ministre est le maire de Nantes, un type banal, (y font la paire) présenté par les médias comme un type fidèle mais on ne sait pas si c'est à sa femme ou à sa maitresse!

mais pour qui on nous prend!

Translation:

Well, he's a normal guy, so when it rains, he takes it all on his head; when it's stormy, his plane takes in the lightning-- just like everyone else-- normal, see... when he gets a contagious disease, it's bird flu!!! Hey, you've got the right to laugh because it's all becoming ridiculous, a "normal guy" who invites former socialist prime ministers to dine at the Elysée Palace... He asked his ex-wife not to come to the Elysée for his inauguration (normal), and the prime minister is the mayor of Nantes, a banal guy (they're a matched set) presented by the media as faithful, but we don't know if it's to his wife or to his mistress!

Who do they take us for?!

François Hollande: by his stripes, we are healed.


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