A letter from Mike to his wife and children:
Kevin has very kindly been chauffeuring me all over the place. We stopped in DC for a bit, and I snapped this selfie in front of the White House:
We then flew to Europe to go walk around old buildings. Bumped into Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman while were were there. Didn't know they were back together.
We were in a rented car, so we drove down to the Mediterranean coast and hit a beach. A nude beach, of course. But the people were friendly. Wish you were here, honey!
We ditched our rental to get into a special car that can travel through time. Somehow ended up at the Battle of Falkirk. That promised to be exhilarating, but I think we got a little too close to the action. Kevin ended up with an arrow in the throat and a sword in the groin; I got an axe full in the chest. That kinda' sucked. Anyway, it was worth the selfie.
Kevin and I both died of our wounds, but we found ourselves on the threshold of heaven. In the pic below, that's the Divine Presence glowing behind me. Pretty cool, right?
So, yeah, we're both dead, and neither of us will be back anytime soon. We've decided we'll just hang here and wait for you guys to catch up. Laters!
Happy 46th, Mike. Just a bit of weirdness to celebrate your special day, which—based on your binge tweeting—also coincides with the 800th anniversary of the signing of the Magna Carta.