Mark Steyn lustily chows down on Occam's Weiner.
Happy Halloweiner, the night when Anthony Weiner's undead penis rises from its grave to bite Hillary's campaign. The stroking dead is apparently impervious to silver bullets or garlic, and unlike vampires it does show up in photographs, on cell phones across the globe.
So in the final week of the campaign the plot twists arrange themselves in a remarkably straightforward manner. The FBI is investigating the Clinton Foundation - because it's a criminal enterprise: if you give a million bucks to the the Clintons' charity, sixty grand goes to charity and the remaining 940,000 goes to fund the lifestyles of Bill, Hillary, Chelsea and their various malodorous associates - Sid Blumenthal, Terry McAuliffe, etc.
For four years, however, those donations also bought you access to the US Secretary of State. That's why Mrs Clinton and her coterie - Huma Abedin, Cheryl Mills, and the other supposed "government employees" - determined to use a private server. Because the pay-for-play was so unsubtle you couldn't have it sitting on State Department emails destined for the National Archives.
We now learn that the FBI are looking into 650,000 emails discovered on Anthony Weiner's laptop, a machine Huma Abedin has told friends she never used - as you wouldn't, if your spouse had the habits Mr Weiner has. 650,000 emails is at least 20 times the number Mrs Clinton originally turned over to the government - or approximately a thousand emails per day for two years, so Weiner would have to be sexting his spambot penis to an underage girl every minute-and-a-half to rack up that total. Which would be impressive even for him. Instead, the metadata indicates that thousands and thousands of those emails were sent either to or from Mrs Clinton's private server. And she seems unlikely to be that interested in Anthony Weiner's penis.
So what are they?
Read the rest on your own. I suspect Huma Abedin is going to fall on her sword for the sake of her boss. I'm not sure how sad I should feel about that: Abedin chose to swim with the big fish, and she had no interest in abandoning politics even after separating from her randy, underage-girl-loving husband. It's way too early to say how much of this mess is of Abedin's making, but at a guess, a goodly portion of it is. Meanwhile, Anthony Weiner is in the running for having the most history-changing dick of the new millennium. I feel sorry for high-school history textbook publishers. How're they supposed to write about all this?
UPDATE: Huma Abedin's not so innocent.