Monday, January 06, 2025

gi-il (忌日, 기일)

It's been fifteen(!) years since Mom passed away. I turned 40 the year Mom was diagnosed with the brain cancer that would kill her nine months later; I turned 55 last August, and despite the passage of a decade and a half, there are still moments when Mom's death seems to have happened only yesterday. Looking back at old photos of Mom, both healthy and sick, can trigger the tears. Otherwise, enough time has passed that I'm mostly back to living my life, currently between jobs while living in obscurity in southeast Seoul. The years grind on; the pain has faded somewhat, but it's never far beneath the surface.

I wonder what Mom would think of her sons now. My brother Sean is married and living as a professional musician in the Chicago suburbs. My brother David has risen in the ranks of the PR company that he's worked for for well over a decade, working as a jack-of-all-trades (and a manager) in the creative department. He moved to New Mexico a couple years back and works remotely. As of December 2020, I paid off all my scholastic debt; since then, I've saved up a bunch of money, and I've walked across mainland South Korea six times (plus once around Jeju Island and a spur of the Nakdong River).

While part of me would like to believe Mom's still there, watching over me somehow, I don't know what to believe on that point. I see her presence in the cosmos flowers that line the trails I've walked; Mom loved cosmos flowers. But flowers are only a representation of Mom—they're not Mom herself. What I wouldn't give to be able to talk to her again, to hug her, to listen to her laugh. Her absence still hurts.

Goodbye, Mom—fifteen years gone. I love you.



Well, wherever she might be, I may be joining her soon. That's a comfort.


"12 Angry Men" (1997): review

Top, L-R: Mykelti Williamson, James Gandolfini, Tony Danza, Edward James Olmos, William Petersen, Ossie Davis
Bottom, L-R: Jack Lemmon, George C. Scott, Hume Cronyn, Armin Mueller-Stahl, Dorian Harewood

[WARNING: spoilers.]

The work 12 Angry Men has an interesting history. It started off, not as a stage play, but as a teleplay written by Reginald Rose in 1954 and aired on TV that same year. In 1955, it was rewritten and performed as a stage play; later on, other TV/film/stage versions of the play have appeared in English and other languages, and in other countries than the United States. The version I watched is a made-for-TV 1997 production for the cable channel Showtime, directed by William Friedkin ("The Exorcist," "The French Connection," "To Live and Die in L.A."). It stars celebrities who were prominent in the 1990s, including Mary McDonnell, Courtney B. Vance, Ossie Davis, George C. Scott, Armin Mueller-Stahl, Dorian Harewood, James Gandolfini, Tony Danza, Jack Lemmon, Hume Cronyn, Mykelti Williamson, Edward James Olmos, and William Petersen.

The story begins with the judge in a murder trial (McDonnell) giving final instructions to the twelve male jurors who have been tasked with evaluating the evidence presented to them of a teenage Latino boy from the slums who is accused of plunging a knife into his abusive father's chest, killing him. The judge warns that the verdict, whether guilty or not guilty, must be unanimous (as stated or implied by the Sixth Amendment). So instructed, the jurors adjourn to the jury room, where most of the rest of the story occurs. The jury foreman (Vance) conducts the proceedings as calmly and as fairly as he can. Most of the jurors are unnamed until the very last scene, when Jurors 8 (Lemmon) and 9 (Cronyn) tell each other their surnames. The deliberation begins with a vote that is 11-1 guilty. Juror 8 is the holdout, having doubts about the solidity of the case against the kid. As the discussion gets under way, and as votes are repeatedly taken, more and more of the jury, except for the stubborn Juror 3 (Scott), become convinced that there is, in fact, reasonable doubt. Tempers flare and personal facts are revealed during deliberations; Juror 3 is prejudiced against the kid because of the poor relationship he's had with his own son, whom he views as a rebellious piece of trash. Punishing the Latino kid will serve, for Juror 3, as a proxy for punishing his own son.

As you might expect with all of the thespian firepower on display, the story is well acted in this version. My understanding is that the script was somewhat modernized for the 90s version to update references from the original 50s version. It's a smart script, too: at several points, some of the characters tire of the discussion and voice a desire to stop and declare a hung jury, which would amount to a mistrial, meaning the case would have to be re-tried with a different set of jurors. Juror 7 (Danza) makes the mistake of seeming to change his vote from "guilty" to "not guilty" simply because he's exasperated and wants to attend a baseball game later that evening. This incenses Juror 11 (Olmos), who wonders whether Juror 7 even cares about the life of the kid. While I've never served on a jury, I felt that "12 Angry Men" was a plausible exploration of what an actual jury deliberation might look like. This being an ensemble production, each juror gets a few moments to shine. Themes of racial prejudice, class conflict, personal psychology, and simple ennui all come into play.

I did have to wonder, though, whether this version of the play would work in today's politically correct environment. There were some moments that struck me as inadvertently amusing, such as when the German-American Juror 4 (Mueller-Stahl) tells the hotheaded Juror 10 (Williamson), a black man apparently prejudiced against Latinos and people from the slums, to shut his "filthy mouth." Imagine that scene playing out with a German accent. How would you read the racial politics these days? Being a relic from an older decade, I didn't get caught up in the political incorrectness, but I'm intensely curious as to how this script might be rewritten for today's sensitive, delicate public. I also have to wonder whether a 1990s-era jury would have been plausibly all male. Some versions of this play have included female jurors, leading to the title change of 12 Angry Jurors.

It's been years since we read and discussed 12 Angry Men in English class. I don't recall that we ever acted the play out, but we may have had a sit-down "reader's theater" run-through of it. As with the Odyssey, this is a work that I barely remember, so it was good to have the refresher. This was an excellent version of the original, too, although some parts, especially George C. Scott's tearful rant at the very end, not to mention the fact that different characters would stand up at regular intervals to speechify, struck me as too self-consciously theatrical. A younger version of me, caught up in the dramatic awesomeness of the play, might have thought differently. Of course, this is a play first and foremost, and as such, it's a showcase for actors and acting. Anyone can definitely appreciate it on that level.

The play's didactic stress on the concept of reasonable doubt is perhaps the most important thing that I take away from this. If I were ever to serve on a jury (not likely since I live in South Korea), this movie would echo in my head during jury deliberations.

And it only just occurred to me that Mary McDonnell and Edward James Olmos starred in "Battlestar Galactica" together. What a tangled web we weave.


more Cajun French

This is going to sound rude to speakers of Cajun French, but to me, Cajun French sounds like American-accented French that is spoke at the same speed as French French, but with the accent of someone with no more than three years of French in high school. Sorry... I know that's rude. See here and here as well. I've been rude before.





series I haven't watched yet

I haven't watched any of Season 6 of "Cobra Kai," and I haven't watched Season 2 of "Squid Game." Guess I'd better get right on that.


"The Return": review

Ralph Fiennes as Odysseus
[WARNING: spoilers.]

Do you remember studying Homer's Odyssey (Ὀδύσσεια/Odysseia in Greek) in junior high or high school? I recall periodically wondering why we'd study such a book in English class given that it wasn't originally written in English. It may have been a Great Books or Western canon thing. I imagine that there was some utility, though: we could talk about story structure, themes, setting, character motivations, and all the other elements of story. 

My recollection of the Odyssey doesn't amount to much: Odysseus is one of the cleverest of warriors, and after the Greek victory at Troy, he turns homeward with his men but is waylaid by the gods, monsters, and cruel fate, losing men one at a time, until only he remains. Meanwhile, his wife Penelope and his son Telemachus must defend themselves from predatory suitors who move into the castle, eat from the royal stores, and crassly demand that Penelope (1) acknowledge she is a widow and (2) marry one of their number. Penelope begins to weave a cloth and tells the suitors she will make a decision once the cloth is done, but at night, she undoes part of the weaving in order to slow her progress and delay the time of decision. Odysseus finds his way back to his home, and he is generally not recognized along the way, but near the castle, his old dog, who has waited long for his master, recognizes him and dies content. An old servant also recognizes him. As the suitors grow more demanding, Penelope finally says she will marry the man who can string Odysseus' bow and fire an arrow perfectly through a series of axe heads—something Odysseus himself had been able to do. Disguised as a beggar, Odysseus watches as each suitor fails to string the bow, then he himself steps up, strings the bow, and successfully fires an arrow through the narrow tunnel created by the row of axe heads. After that, he is revealed as Odysseus, and pandemonium breaks out as he and Telemachus massacre the suitors. And all live happily ever after.

That's my flawed memory of the story. "The Return" is a 2024 film directed by Uberto Pasolini, starring Ralph Fiennes, Juliette Binoche, Charlie Plummer, Claudio Santamaria, and Marwan Kenzari. It's a racially diverse cast for what is primarily a Greek story, but nothing much is made of the diversity. "The Return" concerns itself mostly with the "third act" of the Odyssey, i.e., it starts with Odysseus, after twenty years, washing ashore on his home island of Ithaca, naked, travel-worn, injured, and barely alive. Odysseus (Fiennes), whom no one recognizes as their long-lost king, is found and taken in by Eumaeus (Santamaria), a slave and swineherd. Eumaeus tends to Odysseus' wounds, giving him food and clothing. Meanwhile, Penelope (Binoche) is still at the castle, where she is being hounded by a pack of suitors whose ringleader is the smooth Antinous (Kenzari). Penelope's son Telemachus (Plummer), who has no memory of his father, is powerless against the suitors, and Ithaca itself has fallen slowly into ruin as its people have lost hope. The major story beats are the same as in the Greek epic: Odysseus eventually makes his way to the castle, meets his dog Argos for the last time, strings his own bow, and successfully fires the arrow, then with his son, he massacres the suitors. 

But the movie, which concentrates on only a small part of the original epic, has room to fill the plot with more dimension and characterization, taking time to explore the main characters' thoughts and feelings about the situation they find themselves in. This is, a bit like the long-ago movie "Troy," a mostly demythologized telling of the story. I'm trying to recall whether the characters even mention the gods or cosmic forces like fate even once. What comes through is that the people of Ithaca are sad about having no king, and they're tired of the conflict that took away their best men. Odysseus is reluctant to reveal himself to his people, seeing as he is the lone survivor of the long misadventure. What kind of leader starts a campaign with faithful men and returns alone? As someone unrecognized at first, Odysseus also gets to hear the people tell stories of his and his men's exploits, and we come to understand that the film is exploring the question of how facts become legend. While Antinous is the first suitor to die in Homer's story, he's the last suitor to die in the movie. A lot is made of how war and constant violence can change people, and before he is killed by Telemachus, Antinous gives Penelope a look and asks whether Odysseus—now covered in blood and filled with battle-lust—truly represents the love she seeks. Penelope begs Telemachus to spare Antinous' life, but Telemachus beheads him all the same. The festival room of the castle has become an abattoir. But the last part of this story shows Odysseus and Penelope finding their old bed, which she had stored in a separate part of the castle once Odysseus had gone away to war; they speak to each other of reconnecting by sharing their separate pasts; they promise to share each other's memories, and then to do what they can to forget and to start anew.

"The Return" is a very slow movie. While it contains a lot of dialogue and relatively little action, it's mostly a showcase for haunted looks and long, lingering moments. There is little in the way of special effects, but the movie was beautifully filmed on location in Greece and Italy, and the sound design was nothing short of incredible, with constant reminders of the blowing wind and the crashing surf. Odysseus and Penelope are both written as characters who have lived through specific hells, yet who speak little about those experiences. The few fights that occur over the course of the plot aren't scripted to look like Zack Snyder or Hong Kong actioner battles; the action is at times brutal, but it's minimally bloody and almost primitive in a good way. Odysseus doesn't undergo a Marvel-style, effects-filled transformation into a conquering superhero, but Ralph Fiennes did obviously undergo some massive training: he spends most of the film only partially clothed, so we have a chance to see his corded, veiny muscles, which are meant to evoke Odysseus' former prowess and glory.

Penelope's seeming sympathy for Antinous, who had done his best to gain her affections, probably stemmed from her desire to see no more bloodshed; when she cries out in anguish as Telemachus beheads Antinous, it's not because she harbored any affection for him, but rather because she saw that Telemachus, who had been resentful toward Odysseus for much of the story, had suddenly become his father's son once the slaughter started. Penelope's anguish was more about her son than about Antinous, and her final, gentle dialogue with Odysseus, about memories and forgetting, cements that fact.

Kudos to the film for its magnificent cinematography and sound design, both of which tangibly evoke ancient Ellas. Kudos as well to the cast, all of whom perform their roles strongly and believably. Ralph Fiennes's Odysseus is a king and war veteran humbled by what he's been through; Juliette Binoche's Penelope longs for her husband but finds that longing troubled when she finally meets him; Charlie Plummer's Telemachus starts off seeming helpless at first, but he grows and matures as the plot unfolds, finally becoming something close to a warrior and an adventurer by the end. Marwan Kenzari is slithery and snakelike as Antinous, who is less hungry for Penelope's riches than for Penelope herself. Claudio Santamaria, as the kind Eumaeus, makes a strong impression as a person of the land who holds on to hope that the king will eventually return, but who also understands the costs of hardship and war. I also need to highlight a cast member not mentioned earlier: Angela Molina, who plays Eurycleia, the old servant who recognizes Odysseus when she's washing him and sees an old scar on his leg. Eurycleia's moment of recognition is unexpectedly touching. The cast members playing the rest of the suitors were all appropriately boorish.

Interestingly, Homer's Odyssey includes a coda about the castle's serving girls, who were hanged for having sex with the suitors while the latter waited for Penelope's decision; although the movie includes corner-of-the-eye scenes of sex in dimly lit sections of the castle, there is no follow-up scene of retribution against the castle's maidens. That said, if you're in the mood for a demythologized version of the Odyssey, and if you don't mind a bit of a slow burn, Uberto Pasolini's film may be for you. Overall, I liked it and recommend it. I found myself remembering parts of the Odyssey as the film's story unfolded before me; I think the movie also explores, at least somewhat, the trauma known to war veterans everywhere, and what it means to come back to a life that one is no longer suited for. The film also faces the issue of revenge, but I came away feeling that the revenge against the suitors was more of a karmic inevitability and not the film's main point. This was more about being broken and trying to heal, and the things that occur along the path to healing. I can see certain traditionalists vehemently rejecting this film's interpretation of Homer's classic; they have that right. For myself, though, I thought this was a good story well told. And a human one.


Friday, January 03, 2025

Yoon Seok-yeol, good old-fashioned authoritarian

ROK Drop links to an article saying that impeached conservative South Korean president Yoon Seok-yeol has barricaded himself in his presidential compound and has vowed to fight attempts by an anti-corruption agency to arrest him, arguing that any attempt to arrest Yoon goes beyond the agency's authority, and that Yoon’s own personal security might arrest those attempting to arrest Yoon.

While there's good reason to believe that the Korean left is practicing its own version of US-style leftist lawfare against Yoon, Yoon himself is making it hard to sympathize with him. His abortive power grab in early December, whatever the cause, was a clumsy move on his part to try to get the National Assembly to work in his favor. Yoon doesn't have the finesse (or the legal firepower) of a Donald Trump to be able to pull off a minor coup; his quickly rescinded declaration of martial law ended up looking like nothing so much as a naked power grab. (Trump himself would never have resorted to brute force to get his way, anyway, whatever the left might claim about his supposedly authoritarian nature.)

While I'm convinced a conservative president is at least in principle better for South Korea, Yoon seems to be a throwback to the dictatorships of old. I don't normally dabble in Korean politics, which is too confusing for my tiny brain, but that's how things look from my perch. I'm sure Korean conservatives will argue that Yoon is somehow getting a raw deal. By my lights, he lacks the necessary subtlety to make deals and form coalitions, preferring force to negotiations. And his possible replacement, leftist Lee Jae-myung, doesn't promise to be any better for the country. 


strung along

Wait just a little longer, the boss says. I had sent an email to our HR department, late Thursday morning, to ask about the procedure for obtaining an apartment-rental contract. Hours later, there'd been no answer. HR might not even be aware my contract has technically ended (December 31 was my last day). I went through this same line of questioning before a couple years back, and it seems the same situation is repeating itself again: the boss wants me to wait a bit longer, to avoid talking with HR, because he thinks the CEO might actually answer him, and if the CEO fails to answer him, the boss says he knows someone with legal experience who can advise him. I don't think I can say any more than that, so I'll leave the rest to your imagination. For myself, though, I think this isn't a repeat of recent history: this feels like the end, and I have no doubt that our CEO has a much bigger legal team of his own for just such contingencies—i.e., for disgruntled employees. Mentally, I'm already out the door, but I did humor the boss by sending HR a "belay that" email later in the day.

The frustration for me is that, if the boss really wants me to sit tight and to spend January working for the company—despite the fact that I might not get paid in February for January work—I'm not going to have time to make a SquareSpace blog, take SkillShare classes, learn InDesign, and enroll in Master Class (a platform suggested by my brother David when I emailed him about video-making). And what does that mean, exactly? It means pushing my self-education back by half a year at least. The boss really seems to think he can get us another six months, after which we disband and eventually re-form as our own company. But I'm starting to think the boss hasn't made much effort, over the past two years, to gather the resources for a new company—new investors, potential contracts, etc.—and he'd rather stick with the Golden Goose as long as possible. It's the easier route. I'd been under the impression that we'd be transferring over to our own company at the start of this year, but that's obviously not happening. So I may have to take matters into my own hands and just walk, at least temporarily, while the boss settles his own affairs. Unfortunately, it's not that simple: the reason the boss is fighting to keep the team together for another six months is that that's enough time to complete the current book series and, we hope, to see it get used. Which means that, if he does somehow improbably succeed at buying us another six months, I can't afford to step away from the company. How can he complete the series without me?

The whole situation gives me the vibe of a toxic, abusive relationship. Not that I'm being abused like a Dickensian kid in a factory: my job is relatively low-stress and not very mentally demanding. But there are elements of toxicity there: "Just wait a little longer" sounds a lot like "Just give me one more chance, and I promise things'll be better." So it becomes a matter of my own self-respect, and as I've done with so many Korean jobs in the past, I may have to grab the initiative, pick up, and move on instead of throwing my lot in with a venture that the boss apparently hasn't even begun working on. The lazy, passive, easy thing to do would be to stick around, risk doing unpaid work while I wait for the boss to get in contact with the CEO, then hope for another six months with the company (insert toneless yay here).

What to do? Decisions, decisions. I guess surviving a stroke and a heart attack doesn't lead to some vague "happily ever after." Life, in all its difficulty, rolls on.


Thursday, January 02, 2025

memento mori

While it's tempting to quote this post in full given that it's short, I'll quote only part of it:

The clock is running, and in the game of life it is sudden death with no way of knowing when the flag will fall.

For some of us the harvest years come late and we hope for many such years in which to reap what we have sown, but we dare not count on them. For another and greater Reaper is gaining on us and we cannot stay the hand that wields the scythe that will cut us down.

The perichoresis of time, death, and change.


Chris Chappell on the H-1B debate

Chappell has choice words about Vivek's perceived insecure nerdiness. He also pushes back against some of the points I'd made in my previous post.



from Charles re: AI's "realism"

Enjoy as the AI tries to depict a pole dancer:

I don't know... I'd call this a success!



"when your white friend is more Mexican than you"

The joke would have worked even better had the gringo not had a strong gringo accent:





"Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga": review

Anya Taylor-Joy as Imperator Furiosa
[WARNING: spoilers.]

2024 gave us "Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga," a film that was liked by critics and audience members alike, but that flopped at the box office, probably from lack of interest about Imperator Furiosa's backstory. Directed by George Miller and starring both Alyla Browne and Anya Taylor-Joy as Furiosa at different stages in her life, the movie tells the story of how Furiosa came to be the character we meet in "Mad Max: Fury Road." As the story progresses, there are one or two scenes that make it vague as to whether Taylor-Joy's portrayal of Furiosa somehow overlaps with the portrayal we got from Charlize Theron (who also appears through archive footage in the end credits of this film).

The story begins Edenically in the Green Place, a post-apocalyptic patch of land in Australia as yet unaffected by desertification. A young Furiosa (Browne) is picking peaches with her friend Valkyrie when they spot some strange bikers who have intruded into the Green Place and stolen some meat. Furiosa tries to sneak over and disable their bikes, but she is caught by them and taken to their leader Dementus of the Biker Horde (Chris Hemsworth). Furiosa's mother Mary (Charlee Fraser) gives chase, but she is eventually caught by Dementus, who crucifies her in front of her daughter.

Dementus proves to be clever on a personal level but not much of a leader. He and his Horde eventually run into the Citadel, led by a young Immortan Joe (Lachy Hulme), already wearing his trademark mask and armor. Dementus at first unsuccessfully tries attacking the Citadel before making a deal with Joe that involves taking over the nearby Gastown and handing over Furiosa, who catches the perverse attention of one of Joe's sons, Rictus Erectus (Nathan Jones, reprising his role from the first movie). Furiosa escapes from Rictus, disguises herself as a boy, and moves up in the ranks until, after several years (and now played by Taylor-Joy), she is on a team that is working on the construction of a War Rig to transport gas and supplies. Furiosa ends up working with one of Joe's top lieutenants, Praetorian Jack (Tom Burke), who finds out Furiosa is a girl, and who develops a bond of mutual respect with her. Unfortunately, Dementus ends up capturing Furiosa and Jack, and Jack gets dragged to death while being eaten by wild dogs. Furiosa is hung by her injured arm (which she loses) and is forced to watch Jack's death, just as she'd been forced to watch her mother's crucifixion.

Furiosa's two sources of motivation are (1) to get back to the Green Place and (2) to avenge her mother and Jack by killing Dementus. The rest of the movie is mostly about the latter. We already know the fate of the Green Place from what we saw in "Fury Road."

Visually, "Furiosa" is just as sumptuous-looking as "Fury Road" was, but as many critics complained, the new movie is way more obvious about its use of CGI. Plot-wise, the story feels like one long chase, a bit like the first movie, and the running time of 148 minutes could have been cut down to 120. Another complaint I saw, and would have to agree with, is that the "young Furiosa" prologue, with Alyla Browne as the very young Furiosa, is too long. I'm also not convinced that Chris Hemsworth's Dementus was all that great of a villain. As written, he's an awful leader who can't hold on to the things he captures, and his underlings end up rebelling against him. Dementus therefore survives on luck and the cunning that arises in him during emergencies. Aside from that, his defeat was telegraphed before the movie even began, and that's one of the major problems with making prequels.

All in all, I'd say "Furiosa" was entertaining, and it didn't deserve its status as a bomb. Sure, Chris Hemsworth's latex nose looks fake mainly because we all know what Chris Hemsworth really looks like, but the problems of pacing, prequelitis, and lack of interest in a side character who is decidedly not Mad Max may have been what really dug this movie's grave. I'd recommend "Furiosa" to people looking to pass their time in an interesting way, but they shouldn't expect this movie to be anything like the masterpiece that "Fury Road" was.


Wednesday, January 01, 2025

invideo AI: not for me

I just had my first toe-dip into video creation with invideo AI, an online generative-AI video-creation platform. You type prose commands into the AI, and it cranks out a video according to the parameters you've set. I typed in a prompt to create a video about walking the Four Rivers bike path, describing the route from Incheon to Busan as well as food to eat, places to stay, and sights to see. You can select what length of video to produce, so I chose a 4-minute video. The site took a while to think and churn out the end product; I stepped away from the computer for a while to give the site time to do its thing.

The result was a mix of impressive and laughable. It was a stitched-together pastiche of video clips with a voiceover narration. No maps of the route were included despite my having requested one map of the whole route plus maps of each segment (assuming an average of 26K per day). The video clips of the trail were all of places outside of Korea. The clips of street food were all from cities, and the AI's pronunciation of Korean city names, sight names, and food names was overly literal (e.g., Incheon was "inn-chee-AWN"). The actual narration's content, though, wasn't half bad. Done in the pleasant tones of a British narrator, the narration described the four rivers of the Four Rivers trail, but without noting that two of those rivers aren't encountered along the Incheon-to-Busan route. Otherwise, the AI narrator gave an accurate general description of the trail, a more or less accurate description of Korean food, and some encouraging words for travelers. Most egregiously of all, the narration failed to talk about walking the bike trail and instead described the trail as it was meant for bikers.

I'd like to download the video, upload it to YouTube, and embed it here, but doing so would require me to "upgrade" to invideo AI's "premium" service. Frankly, I'm not convinced there's anything "premium" about the crap the site churned out. AI still needs a lot of work.


schedule

Today: rest. It's the new year.

Thursday, 1/2: get my phone repaired, draw up a rental contract with my building, visit the office to begin packing (we've been given no definite move-out date), and while at the office, flesh out the outline for my schedule for the next five months.

Friday, 1/3: start moving out my boxes.

Saturday, 1/4: finish the move.

Our team went out for dinner at the Chinese restaurant that replaced Ho Lee Chow down the street from us. The new place is called Il Il Hyang (일일향, 日日香), which may translate to something like "Aroma Day After Day." The food turned out to be mediocre for such an expensive place, but it was about what I'd expected. 

More important is what happened after the meal: I decided, on the spur of the moment, to walk home, which led almost immediately to a feeling of pressure in my chest, light vertigo, and slight breathing issues. I also realized I needed to take a piss; I barely managed to hold it in until I found a restroom by the trail.

The return of pre-heart attack symptoms was alarming to say the least. I think I can partially blame this on the worsening of blockages that I'd been told about last August, and I suspect that yesterday's extremely carby meal may have hastened things a bit: we had gganpoonggi (fried chicken in sweet/spicy sauce), fried-and-stuffed eggplant (the best part of the meal), jjajangmyeon (chewy noodles in black-bean sauce), and some bowls of rice. Very carby. So I spent most of last night's walk thinking I was about to keel over dead, but I made it to the restroom, relieved myself, then made it home and relieved myself again. I started rewatching Season 3 of "Picard," which is a feel-good season, and I got so distracted that midnight came and went without my noticing, so I neglected to take my yearly video of the Lotte World Tower doing its fireworks/light-show thing.

Anyway, I'm happy to say that I'm alive to greet 2025, and I've got a doctor's appointment on January 17, both cardiac doc and diabetes doc. I'll tell the cardiac doc about my symptoms, and maybe they'll schedule me to be put under, Roto-Rootered again, and stented. Without CPR this time. Or maybe they'll prescribe stronger clot-busting drugs. They do seem to love prescribing drugs here.

Meanwhile, I'm too afraid to eat anything today, so I might fast for the next few days, then cautiously nibble on a salad.


don't expect as much posting this year

Last year, in the midst of all the health problems, I was doing something of an experiment, trying to see whether it was worthwhile to schedule a bunch of posts well ahead of time. This was partly an effort to give me more free time during the week and to reduce the stress coming from the pressure of blogging constantly, and what I came to realize is that, by schedule-posting, I'm really not saving myself much time at all, if any, and I'm certainly not saving myself any stress. The only way to reduce the stress is to fight the compulsion to publish just anything and to put posts out the way I used to, i.e., when I had something to say.

Admittedly, even when I operated on that schedule, I was still putting out at least three posts a day. Well, with all this "free" time coming up now that I'm done with my contract, it's more imperative than ever for me to cut back on my blogging so I can work on projects. I'm also going to be making the move—finally—to SquareSpace, where I can more easily monetize content. I don't think SquareSpace is a free-speech zone, though, so the nature of my own content will have to change since, even here at Blogspot, oversensitive people will call attention to your political views if they don't like what you're saying or the tone in which you say it. (Most often, when I'm informed that a post has been pulled or put behind a warning, it's because of something I reposted from somewhere else. Occasionally, I'm dinged for my own original content, but in most cases, it's stuff I'm passing along.)

So I expect my readership to drop off, maybe even sinking below my old average of about 600 unique visits per day (half of which are bots, of course, and for the month of December, I was averaging 1500-1600 visits per day). I'll still be putting up videos and memes that I think are worth passing along, but this won't be nearly as frequent. The irony of trying to save time by schedule-posting is that I lose my weekends: I spend all weekend writing the posts up, and if for some reason I can't get them finished over the weekend, I end up schedule-posting during the week. The whole thing starts to feel a bit pointless.

We'll see how the bots and readers respond to my new posting pattern, which probably won't look that different from the old pattern. But astute readers ought to see an uptick in original content and not merely appended commentaries on video posts (when I bother to leave any commentary at all).


the big lie





Happy New Year

Here's hoping 2025 is a lot better than 2024 was!

UPDATE: I got too engrossed in rewatching Season 3 of "Picard" to go out and video the fireworks at the Lotte World Tower as I try to do every year except during the pandemic. Sorry about that! We'll try again next year if I'm still around.