You're Korean. You come into my restaurant, the Grammar Hut (name subject to change). You see from the signs and posters that you get a 10% discount for ordering in English. There's also a chance for you to get a 20% discount on your next order if you take and pass a grammar quiz, one that is different for every person and changes daily. You order in English, receive congratulations and your 10% discount, then eat your meal. After the meal, you go over to the carrel- or arcade-style booth to take the grammar test (maybe it's on a touch screen; maybe it's more old-school), which is relentlessly in English. A proctor is there to monitor that you're not cheating. You take the quiz and pass. You receive a chit with a QR code and instructions to go back to the counter and have it scanned. You're told not to throw the QR code away so it can be re-scanned the next time you come in to order your food and confirm your 20% discount. If, next time, you order in English and bring your QR code, you get a 30% discount. This cycle can repeat until you hit ten "passes" of the grammar test. Since you are scanned in and on record, if you take and pass the quiz ten times, you will get a 50% discount off your next order. At 100 "passes," it's a 60% discount off the next order.
The menu is good but eclectic. Basically, it's the shit I cook: burgers, shoestring fries, potato chips, Moroccan-inspired chicken, spaghetti, chili, chili dogs, lasagna, tacos, nachos, ddeokbokgi, gyros, boeuf bourguignon, various soups and stews (some Korean), breakfast items, and desserts (cakes, pies, cookies), maybe some keto selections. A happily varied menu that doesn't know what it wants to be when it grows up. Think: Silver Diner in the US. Or the Cheesecake Factory.
Does this sound like the start of a decent business model? Poke holes in my idea in the comments. This grammar-nerd stuff would probably work in Korea. Not so much in the States, where people just don't give a fuck.
Fantastic idea. Of course, it will be ripped off by bad copies the following week if you gain any financial traction and NO ONE will care about the quality of the ajoshi's grammar so long as the food is good. Buy I'll patronize your place until you end up like the owner of The Bamboo Lounge in Goodfellas...
ReplyDeleteYeah, the copycat thing is always lurking in the shadows, waiting to pounce.
DeleteIt's a unique idea, but like most businesses, success would likely be dependent on location. But if the food is good, folks might be willing just to bypass the discount and just enjoy their meal. Would that take the fun out of it for you?
ReplyDeleteAlso, what if a fat old foreigner comes in and orders in English? Will he get the discount? You probably wouldn't have to worry about him passing the test.
I'd have to give the foreigner some other opportunity to earn a discount, and since the foreigner would likely be awful at grammar, that "some other opportunity" would likely be a similar grammar test to the ones the Korean clientele would get.
DeleteContests or tests can be fun; but I think the food and service are most important. Unfortunately restaurants around me are focused on survival so they cut corners and hasten their demise. I've been disappointed with 60% of the eateries I've eaten at in my life. My standards are not high. I come from a family of 9. We were definitely not gourmands. But even the places with decent reputations, like the place we went to last Wednesday, leave me feeling disappointed and cheated.
ReplyDeleteMy wife and I went to a nearby Italian/Pizza+ type of place. Italian food should be pretty easy to cook. I can whip up delicious dishes pretty quickly without much trouble or making much of a mess. But on Wednesday I ordered a simple Chicken Parm dish. It took forever to arrive and when it did it was terrible. They pounded the meat paper thin, breaded it then cooked it hard. It was hard to cut and chew. The sauce was bland and cool. I probably should have said something; but the beleaguered waitress looked overwhelmed and I knew I would never return even if they re-made the dish which would have taken more time than we had.
This is par for the course in my area which is not some backwater. We're live just outside the 5th largest city in the US.
There is one other Pizza+ place not too far from me that is decent. But I'd like to find another place to go to. It's not easy. Staff and management just don't seem to care or are so focused on making the rent that they forget where the money comes from.
Having managed a couple of small businesses in my crazy working life I only have one bit of advice. Buy the property if you can. Make payments to the mortgage lender not a landlord. Landlords can and will eventually suck the life out of your business. Moving to another location is problematic, time consuming and expensive and the landlords know this. Even the most loyal customers will abandon you if you move more than a few blocks away from your original location. Then you have to start over. If you own the property you will have something to sell or rent if your business doesn't work out which is the story of most restaurants - at least in the US. Good luck with your idea.