Tuesday, March 17, 2026

St. Patrick's Day limericks by a half-Korean, part-Irish bastard

My uncle eats nothing but gators;
he tries to sell meat to our waiters,
and they always say no
because business is slow,
but in truth, they're all just gator-haters.

A robber and witch were in trouble,
so the witch made a magic brew bubble,
then they drank the dose right,
turned to tall heaps of shite
—head to toe, covered with pubic stubble.

The Lord, He was taking a tally;
He saw a young maid, name of Sally
—so He changed to a man,
and He called himself Stan,
but the lass never showed Him her valley.

There once was a dragon named Pringle
who had the most ponderous dingle
all the people were wowed
and the prostitutes, cowed
—but the dragon remained ever single.

'Twas nighttime when Greyhair McFiddle
heard Margie his wife cry, "Let's diddle!"
And quite ancient, with rolls,
Margie unearthed her holes,
and so Greyhair aimed right for the middle.


3 comments:

  1. Don't quit your day job! But seriously, these put a smile on my face this morning. Thanks for that!

    ReplyDelete
  2. A shortsighted paddy called Mick
    Picked up a brick with a stick.
    In great pain and drunk
    As the proverbial skunk
    He realized the brick was his prick.

    When Dublin was run by the Brits,
    An IRA commander called Fitz
    Produced from his bum
    Pure Irish yum yum
    And launched his shit at the shits

    As oirish as Guinness and stew
    Is pronouncing the word through 'true.'
    Three becomes tree
    So tree tirty will be
    Truer to dem dan to you



    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't tink you'll be makin' many Oyrish friends in dese parts.

      Delete

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