Thursday, May 21, 2026

paperwork update

I got my two apostilled copies of my diplomas, double-stapled onto the diploma copies, with gold seals on the apostilles. I'm still astonished that Monument Visa was able to obtain the apostilles without the original diplomas, but according to their staffers, almost nobody sends originals anymore—just scanned copies—and Monument emailed that they were very happy with the quality of my diploma scans. Still, they're going to wait to send me everything back only after they've received my FBI document and had it apostilled.

Job stuff:
✓ 1st diploma copy, converted to PDF & apostilled (arrived)
 2nd diploma copy, converted to PDF & apostilled (arrived)
☐ FBI criminal background check, apostilled
☐ 2nd letter of recommendation, converted to PDF (coming soon)
☐ 3rd letter of recommendation, converted to PDF (coming soon)
☐ copy of 4th certificate of employment (2005-2008) (SMU)
☐ sealed transcript from Catholic U. (grad school)
☐ sealed transcript from Georgetown U. (undergrad)
☐ health check; scan form and convert to PDF for job hunting

Personal stuff:
☐ colonoscopy scheduling
☐ completed (& uploaded) first movie-review ebook ms
☐ sample lessons for universities that prove interested in me
☐ sample lessons for KMA (which probably won't hire me)
☐ lessons for private tutoring (lower priority)—test prep & various subjects
☐ more Substack material to last through September
☐ more interactive quizzes for Substack (w/different question formats)
☐ ebook version of the first movie-review book, published
☐ ms for the second movie-review book (long-term project)—start working on it

On other fronts:

  1. Sookmyung only just replied a few minutes ago, but it was simply to acknowledge receipt of my document. The email then asked me to understand slowness in future response because of the upcoming university Foundation Day celebrations and holidays (the Buddha's birthday), so any reply will come later next week. At this point, I'm ready to take a flamethrower to that office. They are stalling and stonewalling hard. Fuckers.
  2. My Korean ex-coworker will be sending his letter of recommendation sometime next week. He asked to see a sample recommendation letter on which to model his.
  3. I have no idea when the FBI criminal background check is coming. Soon, I hope.
  4. I will probably meet my boss next week and get his recommendation letter then.
  5. I looked up how long it takes to recover from polyp removal after a colonoscopy. Looks to be a couple of weeks for bigger polyps. I might be on a liquid diet for a while. With the colonoscopy, the problem is timing. I was warned that, from scheduling to the procedure, a lot of time can pass. I hope I'm not riddled with ass cancer. Not seeing any bloody stool or other telltale signs, but one never knows.

Now, I know what an apostille looks like.


The Exorcist (book and movie): review

From the extended director's cut: Regan MacNeil (Linda Blair) is having a bad six weeks.

[WARNING: major spoilers for a 70s-era story.]

William Peter Blatty's novel The Exorcist, published in 1971, spent 17 weeks at Number 1 on the New York Times's bestseller list (back when that list might've meant something) and 57 weeks on the list in total. Robert Pirsig once remarked on how his own bestseller, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance (1974), got its fame for being a kulturbärer, a bearer of culture, an expression of the current, changing Zeitgeist (spirit of the times), in which the person or work carries forward what is probably to become a newly dominant Zeitgeist, bearing on his/her or its back the new values soon to pervade the evolving culture.

The Geist in Zeitgeist is also relevant here; it's related to the word ghost (Ger. Heiliger Geist = Holy Ghost) and means something more akin to "spirit." The Exorcist is, fundamentally, a work about the workings of the spirit. Whatever lesson it's trying to teach, whatever morality it's trying to express, isn't meant to be easy or comforting, much like the lessons of the Bible itself. The story teaches that randomly bad things happen to the innocent, that primal forces exist outside of our control, and that salvation—which may include the rehabilitation of one's own unbelief—requires help from outside. The story also sees God/good as a subtle, invisible force, mirroring the way God in the New Testament continues his retreat from the forefront of human history to occupy a more background role while his only begotten son and the saints around him take center stage. Read Jack Miles's God: A Biography, in which Miles examines God as if he were a literary character in a story unfolding chronologically in the Hebrew Bible (the Tanakh, what Christians would call The Old Testament); Miles concludes that, from what we see if we view the Hebrew Bible as a chronologically linear book, God is a receding character who ultimately yields the floor on the cosmic sage. Whether you agree with Miles or not, his way of seeing God isn't a bad template for viewing the deity's role in The Exorcist, which has, among other themes, the conflict between science and spirituality. In fact, many God/fate/cosmic force-referencing movies in Hollywood—like the Matrix movies, for instance—tend to see God or divine power as a subtle force working behind the scenes and almost never intervening openly like what happens in Stephen King's novel The Stand or in one of my favorite movies, The Hudsucker Proxy).

The movie The Exorcist, remarkably faithful to the novel except for a few crucial points, came out in 1973, indicating that the story got snapped up rather quickly by Hollywood and given to director William Friedkin (The French Connection, 1971), who was seen as a strong, stubborn visionary and a brutal taskmaster to many of his actors. You have doubtless heard the story of how actress Ellen Burstyn as Chris MacNeil, in portraying the scene where she was struck by her demon-possessed daughter Regan, was yanked so hard by a harness-cable setup that she wrenched her back, broke her coccyx, and suffered a permanent injury. She claims that her anguished scream in that scene wasn't acting but an expression of real, raw agony. Friedkin was known to get actors to startle by sneakily putting a gun close to their their ears and firing a blank round. And the set of Regan's bedroom was kept icily cold so that the actors' breath would be visible on camera. Friedkin was guilty of these and many other sins against his actors, but the result was one hell of a movie that produced, according to testimonies and rumors, violently extreme reactions from audience members who went to see the film looking for a thrill: fainting, vomiting, heart attacks, hysteria, and running out of the theater.

1. The movie The Exorcist (1973)

Almost like a stage play with a small cast, 1973's The Exorcist centers on the story of only five or six people: actress-mother Chris MacNeil (Ellen Burstyn), separated from her husband; Chris's 12-year-old daughter Regan (Linda Blair); 40-something Jesuit psychiatrist Father Damien Karras (Jason Miller); Father Lankester Merrin (Max von Sydow, playing the exorcist in question), detective Lieutenant William Kinderman (Lee J. Cobb), and Chris's angry-drunk director Burke Dennings (Jack MacGowran). Minor characters surrounding this central constellation include Chris's secretary Sharon Spencer (Kitty Winn), Father Karras's cheerful fellow-Jesuit friend Father Dyer (William J. O'Malley, a Jesuit priest in real life, who got face-slapped by Friedkin when he didn't emote enough for one scene), Karl the MacNeils' generally stoic housekeeper (Rudolf Schündler), and Father Karras's mother Mary (Vasiliki Mariaros).

The story begins in Iraq, with the weak and aged Father Merrin finishing an archaeological dig and encountering several statues, big and small, of an unnamed demon (called Pazuzu in the book). Merrin, who takes nitroglycerin pills for his weak heart, knows he must depart for America because he senses there will be a conflict there, a conflict similar to one he'd had in the past with the same malefic forces he'd encountered years earlier. Meanwhile, in the Georgetown area of DC, Chris MacNeil has rented a house on Prospect Street, just above M Street. She lives there with her daughter Regan, her secretary Sharon, and her two housekeepers—the husband-and-wife pair Karl and Willie (Gina Petrushka), both older Swiss people. We quickly learn that Chris's director for a movie being filmed on Georgetown University's campus, Burke Dennings, loves his alcohol, generally dotes on Chris, and absolutely loathes Karl, whom Burke refers to as a Nazi swine despite Karl's being Swiss. Little Regan, in looking through random items in the rental's basement, finds a Ouija board and makes an imaginary friend called "Captain Howdy." Chris begins to hear weird noises from the house's attic, which she attributes to rats. Over the following weeks, Regan starts acting strangely as the mysterious Captain Howdy seems to take her over.

Chris initially sends Regan to various hospitals for different treatments—X-rays, brain scans, and even one attempt at hypnosis that goes horribly wrong for one doctor and his crotch. Regan's condition worsens, and it becomes harder to sedate her. Regan becomes more menacing and even violent, and at a nearby church, an altar and some sacred statues are found nastily desecrated. In some of Regan's hospital sessions, she manifests foul breath, uses obscene language, and evinces what seem to be different personalities who say things that Regan cannot possibly know, in accents and speech cadences that are not her own. At home, Regan's bed shakes violently in ways that shouldn't be possible. Having seen a particular priest on GU's campus, Chris gets curious as to who he might be, and she eventually meets the priest, Father Karras, and confesses that she thinks her daughter might be possessed—something that's still hard to swallow since Chris is an atheist. Not long after, director Burke Dennings is found dead at the bottom of a famous set of stairs leading from Prospect to M Street (now known by GU students as "the Exorcist stairs") with his head having been wrenched 180º around. Detective Kinderman, assessing the scene, finds that a simple, drunken fall down the steps was unlikely to have twisted Dennings's head that way. Kinderman is also aware of the church desecrations, and he takes a seemingly friendly, avuncular interest in Father Karras, whom he keeps inviting to see old movies.

Karras, meanwhile, explains to Chris that he's a trained psychiatrist, a deep scientific skeptic (privately to another priest, Karras confesses he's lost his faith), and a man uninclined to believe that Regan is actually possessed. He also notes that the Church's standards for performing an exorcism are very strict in terms of requirements for proof, and that he is unlikely to get permission to perform an exorcism. But later encounters with the purported demon convince Karras the case might be genuine: Regan speaks French and Latin; at one point Karras records Regan as she speaks backwards in English); per the biblical episodes, the entity inside Regan sometimes claims to be legion, sometimes singular. Eventually, the Church hierarchy decides an exorcism is necessary, but they request that Lankester Merrin, who is back from Iraq and writing a memoir, be the leader of the ritual, with Karras both assisting and acting as the on-site psychiatrist. Karras has to fight his feelings of doubt and skepticism while also mourning the death of his mother, who resented her having been taken to a care center after an edema, blaming Damien before she died.

This brings us to the movie's conclusion: the exorcism itself. In scenes that were seared into the memories of a generation of vulnerable souls, then brutally parodied not even a decade later and beyond, the priests do battle with the spirit or spirits inside of Regan. There is much warm vomit, creepy instances of levitation, impossible 180º twistings of Regan's neck as the demon mocks the death of Dennings (whom, it's strongly implied, the demon had killed before pushing him of the window overlooking the famous set of stairs), the voice of people whom Father Karras didn't help, plenty of Roman Ritual chanting ("The power of Christ compels you!"), and assorted instances of both foulness and nobility. Ultimately, Father Merrin succumbs to a heart attack, and Father Karras, desperate and angry, pummels Regan's body and, utterly dispensing with the ritual, directly begs the demon to possess him. It does, and once it's inside his body, Damien throws himself out the same window from which Dennings was defenestrated, tumbling down the steps and landing in a heap on the M Street sidewalk, a bloody, ragged pile. Father Dyer finds him right as the police and emergency teams do; Dyer performs last rites. In the following weeks, Regan has returned to normal, with no memory of what happened. Filming at Georgetown has ended, so Chris and Regan are moving back to California. Father Dyer sees them off, but before they drive away, Regan stops upon seeing Father Dyer's priest collar and gives him a kiss on the cheek.

Now that I consider it, it's amazing to think that, in a movie featuring so much violence, obscenity, cruelty, and horror, only four characters die: Burke Dennings, Damien's mother, Father Karras, and Father Merrin.

As movies go, The Exorcist—to use an awful cephalocervical pun—turned heads. As a kid, I'd initially seen the edited version of the movie on TV, and it definitely gave me nightmares. Only years later did I read the novel, which was vivid, then I reread the novel decades later and rewatched the uncut movie many years later as well. While parts of Friedkin's film now have a laughably 70s-era look and pacing about them, the movie overall still appears remarkably modern, with effects—all practical back then—that still hold up even these days. Everyone still marvels at the excellent makeup work done on Max Von Sydow, who was around 43 at the time of filming and had to be aged up to look like an elderly man. Nevertheless, there are aspects of von Sydow's makeup that betray his youth: His eyes look piercingly young, and his hair is a little too lush—but those problems are rooted in biology and not the fault of the excellent makeup artist. And of course, the horrifying makeup work done on Regan is probably the cause of many people's nightmares: the scars, the lesions, the ever-paling skin, the feral demon eyes, and the ever-present, steaming streams of vomit that Regan either spews in projectile fashion or pushes out of her mouth like thick, nightmarish feces. Every instance of Regan emitting some sort of bodily fluid (or semi-solid) left me wanting to recoil, especially when one of the priests would have a bare hand or a part of the face befouled.

The quality of the acting is also top-notch from everyone, but there are a few moments in which Ellen Burstyn's portrayal of a fraying, angry, helpless, fearful mother can be a little over-the-top. That said, I think Burstyn's overall portrayal of Chris MacNeil is excellent and generally hits all of the right notes, and I'm sure a mother would respond to my above quibble by observing that I don't get Burstyn's acting because I'm not a mother. Sure, true enough. Lee J. Cobb as an aging Detective Kinderman is solid and chameleonic, changing his disposition from obliviously jolly to seemingly starstruck to deadly serious depending on the person he's interacting with. His light-hearted exchanges with Father Karras—in which Karras is hiding the true gravity of the MacNeil situation even while Kinderman, slowly putting two and two together, is shrewdly aware that Karras is doing so—give the film some small spots of much-needed Yiddish levity: demonic possession isn't portrayed in the film as an unserious thing. Jack MacGowran as the drunken, ill-fated director Burke Dennings strikes just the right balance between doting uncle and raging asshole. The other peripheral characters (winsome Sharon, taciturn Karl, and the amiable Dyer) are all portrayed solidly, providing the movie with a feeling that the Georgetown area is populated and dimensional, that Chris's friends, loved ones, and helpers aren't just some Hollywood conjuration that's been shoehorned into the script but rather an organic addition to the ambiance. 

Max von Sydow as Father Merrin is, despite his relatively small and parenthetical role in the story's plot, simply incredible; comparing von Sydow then to the old man he eventually became is striking; the young von Sydow convincingly acts like an old priest. Jason Miller as Father Damien Karras, my favorite character and quite possibly the real focus of the film as we witness the trajectory of his own troubled soul, is well cast and fits the look of the character on the pages of Blatty's novel—a burly, boxer-like, haunted-looking, sad-eyed priest who both runs laps on GU's campus and smokes a ton of cigarettes. Karras has chosen a road of compassion as his life's work, but he feels guilty for not having been there to help his old, solitary mother when she needed his help. Miller ably manages to evoke Karras's gravitas and priestly authority as well as his doubtful scientific skepticism, which is at war with his desire to believe. But like Chris, he eventually comes to understand that the feral force inside Regan can't be given a merely scientific response with pills and shots and hypnosis and scans. He reaches this conclusion despite being a priest with some limited knowledge of the history of exorcisms from his psychological work, thus coming at Regan's problem from a completely different perspective. In the end, in the face of such primal, bestial rage, Karras faces the force inside Regan by having arrived at the same moral crossroads Chris has. And he grimly chooses to fight for Regan despite never having truly met the girl. 

Lastly, there's Linda Blair, the young actress who portrays 12-year-old Regan, and who was about 13 when she filmed her part (for various harrowing scenes, Blair was replaced by a number of doubles). My usual complaint about child actors is that they're mostly unrefined and have a very self-conscious, stilted, "I'm acting now" quality about them. Seeing a good, unself-conscious child actor is, even now, something of a rarity. But the casting director for The Exorcist must have been lucky or blessed because Blair, as the demon-wracked daughter, pulls off a miracle of physical and psychological performance. In later years, Blair would say she had little to no understanding of certain scenes, especially with how they were filmed at clever angles and with special props merely to imply this or that bit of nastiness (like Regan masturbating with a crucifix or forcing her mother's face into her bloody crotch). The makeup team, with its excellently horrible work, probably also did a lot to help convince us viewers of Regan's ongoing, hellish trauma. The makeup enhanced the acting. Linda Blair, for her part, and despite however little she understood about the ugly, adult realities of her character, certainly delivered the performance of a lifetime. Despite the supposed "curse" that followed the filmmakers around for years (Ellen Burstyn claims nine people died of a variety of causes), Blair herself seems remarkably happy these days, and well adjusted.

Something should be said about the movie's cinematography, sound, and lighting. Friedkin, despite playing a bit fast and loose with campus/neighborhood geography, generally gets the essentials right about what sits where in Georgetown, although some shots inside the campus's Dahlgren Chapel end up feeling as if they were supposed to be shots of an off-campus church that had been desecrated. Overall, though, the film showcases plenty of shots recognizable to those who know the neighborhood, and I found myself weirdly transported back to an era of the campus I'd never known—the 70s—every time I saw interior or exterior shots of Gaston Hall, the Healey Building, or Lauinger Library. I went to GU from 1987 to 1991, doing an academic year abroad in Switzerland during the momentous 1989-1990 academic year, which was when the Berlin Wall came down, Tiananmen Square was still reeling from its aftermath, and the Ceaușescus (Monsieur et Madame) were put up against a wall and shot, freeing Romania from a decades-long tyranny. One of the more famous Georgetown rituals—aside from stealing the hands off the giant clock on Healey Tower—is for the Jesuit faculty to show The Exorcist to willing members of the incoming freshman class. I recalled sitting comfortably, and feeling very adult, in an upper tier of one of Gaston's auditoriums, screaming and laughing along with my classmates. The group experience of that movie is very different from watching it alone in the dark. That digression aside, Friedkin, as a visual stylist, saves his best work for things like building interiors, especially Regan's bedroom, which becomes the main theater of combat inside Chris's rental house. In terms of sound, there are some moments that, nowadays, feel a bit dated, but Regan's unearthly, croaking voice (sometimes, it's multiple voices, but mostly it's hardcore voice actress Mercedes McCambridge) still feels creepy and phlegm-clogged. Her breathing is eerie, too, predating the menacing wheeze of Darth Vader by four years. Georgetown is given life through city and traffic sounds, and the music and singing for the opening scenes in Iraq possess a foreign barrenness and aridity that nevertheless contain a sort of weird, premonitory beauty. As for lighting: We all remember the iconic image of Father Merrin arriving at the MacNeil residence on a rainy night, an eerie shaft of light silhouetting the priest as he makes ready to contend with an enemy he's faced before.

I mentioned earlier that the movie remains remarkably faithful to Blatty's novel. Whole sections of book dialogue are repeated verbatim in the film, as are many of the book's major story beats. The movie also preserves many of the book's larger themes, but I think it misses the most essential one—something I'll discuss below when I turn my attention to the novel. Blatty, the novel's author, was also the movie's screenwriter, perhaps not trusting anyone else to adapt his story the way he wanted it adapted. Going from book to movie is a tricky business, though, and it's often hard to navigate those rocky shoals with perfect finesse. Still, I'd say Blatty did a fine job of preserving much of the book's essence—its basic themes and conflicts. 

In fact, Blatty won the Oscar for Best Adapted Screenplay, one of several Oscars for which The Exorcist had been nominated (the others were Best Picture, Director, Supporting Actor, Supporting Actress, Art Direction Cinematography, Film Direction, Film Editing, Sound). The movie also won for Best Sound. It was the top-grossing movie of 1973 and received mixed reviews from critics of the time. It also got, among other awards, the Golden Globe for Best Picture. Director Friedkin fervently hoped to receive a papal condemnation of the film, which would have made it all the more popular. The Vatican, in truth, turned out to be subtly supportive of what it saw as the film's underlying message, an optimistic one about faith and God's existence. There were, however, some predictable theological quibbles about ritual details, priestly motives, and religious principles. No one in Hollywood ever gets those things right, and frankly, you can't please everyone even if your production is letter-perfect. Some nitpicker will find a flaw somewhere. Embrace imperfection... at least to a degree.

While parts of The Exorcist might seem laughable or out of step today, the movie as a whole still retains resonance, and there's a reason why it has remained culturally significant for so long. I've heard from atheist acquaintances that the movie scares them not at all because they see the entire premise as ridiculous. It's probably like how I view most horror these days: Most horror just makes me laugh partly because all of the familiar tropes have been so overdone, and we all know what's waiting or lurking around the corner, under the bed, inside the body cavity, or in the dark. Usually, when a horror character is about to meet his or her much-deserved demise, I'm ready to be delighted. But because The Exorcist hit me so early in life, it will always be, on some level, a pretty horrible film. And I mean horrible in a good way.

While I briefly contended, above, that Father Merrin is the exorcist of the story's title, it's quite possible that the label could apply more aptly to Father Karras. The Bible isn't very specific on how Jesus and his disciples were able to cast out demons and devils, and Father Karras's eventual method involves something much more primal and atavistic than following a dated, staid, calcified ritual to the letter. Karras must ultimately dispense with the Roman Ritual and accept the malign force into himself—a joining that the demon suggests will happen very early in the story, close to when they first meet. In many ways, the story of The Exorcist follows the very old dramatic template of what author Stephen R. Donaldson, channeling Stephen Karpman (who was writing more about transactional analysis than about story), has referred to as the Hero/Rescuer, the Villain/Persecutor, and the Victim—the three corners of the so-called drama triangle (again: more psychology than narrative). The movie implies this, but it's more obvious in the book: Karras can only invite the demonic force into himself when his faith has returned. I will discuss this more in the next section as we tackle the novel.

2. The novel The Exorcist (1971)

Having summed up the basic plot in the previous section, I will spend more time here noting where the movie and the book differ, then focus more directly on William Peter Blatty's book—its themes and the deep, fundamental detail that I think the movie swings at but ultimately misses. The novel came out in 1971 and was based on a real-life 1949 exorcism of a 14-year-old Maryland boy given the pseudonym of Roland Doe. Blatty did extensive research on both the specific case and on Jesuits in general, but he was a student at Georgetown at the time of the Maryland exorcism. Blatty also modeled Father Lankester Merrin on the real-life priest-philosopher-scientist Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, who saw material reality as part of a grand process of evolution toward what he called an Omega Point.

The major story beats in the novel are the same as what we see in the movie: We begin in Iraq, with old Father Merrin having a premonition that he must go back to the States. We then meet actress Chris MacNeil and her young daughter Regan, Swiss husband-wife housekeepers Karl and Willie, and Chris's twenty-something secretary Sharon. We also make the acquaintance of the charmingly nasty film director Burke Dennings, who adores Chris and Regan but hates Karl. Chris already knows Father Dyer, but she asks him about Father Karras. The story builds up in the same way: Regan discovers a Ouija board and befriends the "imaginary" Captain Howdy; Black Mass-style desecrations happen at a local church, and Detective Kinderman gets involved. Regan's condition worsens to the point where Chris seeks out the help of Father Karras; despite not being a believer, she's tried everything medically available and is now desperately convinced that exorcism is the only plausible solution to Regan's problem. Karras, meanwhile, is wrestling with his own crisis of faith, no longer feeling in tune with the sacred and experiencing a spiritual numbness. Regan's case intrigues him, especially once he visits Regan and starts dialoguing with the entity or entities inside her, but at every turn, Father Karras is presented with evidence that Regan might not be possessed at all but in the grip of a deep and mysterious mental illness. For Karras, proof of the existence of the Devil would be proof of the existence of God, but his scientific training makes it hard for him to believe that what he is seeing in Regan is in fact spiritual. Eventually, though, enough evidence accumulates for Karras to consult with higher Church authorities and to ask permission to perform an exorcism. Karras is told that the ritual's leader will be Father Merrin, back from Iraq, and Karras will both assist and act as the on-site psychiatrist. Merrin dies during the exorcism, Karras become enraged and shouts for the demon to come into him, then something happens that we hear but don't see: Karras shouts "No!", and there's the sound of breaking glass. When Regan's bedroom door is flung open, Regan has come back to herself, Merrin's body lies on the floor, and Karras has apparently crashed through the window and tumbled down the stairs to his death. Father Dyer, Karras's close friend, gives Karras the last rites, and Karras dies with a look of exalted triumph on his face.

But the novel weaves a much richer tapestry that includes many scenes not found in the movie. For example, the movie entirely drops a major subplot in the book about the life of Karl the beleaguered housekeeper: While Karl's wife Willie thinks their daughter, an addict, is long dead, Karl knows his daughter lives in ramshackle DC housing with her addict boyfriend, and he visits her regularly to give her money, all while miserably begging her to get help for her addiction at a clinic. Detective Kinderman, who suspects that only Karl could be strong enough to have killed Burke Dennings by wrenching his head around, follows Karl on his visits to his daughter and discovers the truth. This truth, though, doesn't bring Kinderman any closer to solving the riddles of Burke Dennings's murder and the church desecrations. The book also shows Kinderman and Karras moving toward friendship even though Kinderman knows that Karras is hiding something. Another major element dropped from the plot is when Father Karras, exhausted and plunging into sleep, has an encounter in his room with Father Lucas, who calls himself both a priest and a counselor, and who claims to want to help Damien but leaves him with a caution to "Watch out for Sharon!" I interpreted this hallucination as an oblique warning from God, but the majority online view seems to be that Father Lucas was an instantiation of the demon. The novel's beginning says that the demon Pazuzu is the personification of the southwest wind, and while he's in Iraq, Father Merrin is disturbed by a wind from the southwest.

The movie leaves out some important details about Regan and the demon. Captain Howdy, her imaginary friend, probably got his name from Regan's father Howard, who is divorced or separated from Chris. Regan is also depicted in the book as not only vomiting frequently but also pushing out diarrhea, one of many sources of foul odor. Both of these problems oblige Karl and Willie to change the possessed Regan's bedding quite often. In the book, the demon evokes Burke Dennings in much more detail. The demon claims Dennings is with the demon(s), along with Damien's mother. The demon also taunts Karl in front of Willie, revealing Karl's secret that the couple's daughter is still alive, much to Willie's distress. And while the movie contains the line "The sow is mine!", describing the demon's jealous ownership of Regan, the book is peppered with demonic references to Regan as "the piglet," as in, "I will not let the piglet sleep." This is a direct biblical evocation of the story of Jesus and the Gerasene demoniac, a demon-wracked man living among graves whose fantastic strength, while possessed, allowed him to break the chains that bound him. The story ends with Jesus casting the demons out ("I am legion, for we are many"); they enter a herd of swine, which hurls itself collectively into the sea, much as Karras, at the end of the story, hurls himself out of the window to break his own possession while he still retains some control of his body.

The movie also strips out a great deal of theological speculation and discussion. Karras reads some of Merrin's work and learns of his Teilhardian, almost panentheistic belief in the evolution of matter toward spirit as all of creation strives toward its creator. Merrin and Karras talk about the nature and purpose of possession, with Merrin affirming that possession is less about the cruel deprivation of an individual's will and more about afflicting those around the possessed. Merrin also expresses a belief found in some of the quieter passages of CS Lewis's writings: the idea that even evil must, in the end, serve some ultimately good purpose that is hidden from us.

But one of the biggest differences between the book and the movie is the book's ambiguity about whether Regan really is possessed or merely in the grip of severe mental illness. The movie, meanwhile, makes it perfectly clear that Regan is possessed, but the movie also contains scenes that are designed to make us doubt Regan's possession, such as when the demon fails to say Karras's mother's maiden name or to carry on a long conversation in Latin or French. The demon also gets fooled by ordinary water that Karras has lied is holy water. But in the end, the movie tilts toward surety: Regan is definitely possessed.

The fundamental difference, though, between the book and the movie is that, while the book is more ambiguous about whether Regan is actually possessed, it is utterly clear about whether Karras has regained his faith before his death. Karras, upon receiving the demonic presence into himself, now has confirmation that the deus absconditus who has eluded him for so long is, in fact, real. This is the gleam of triumph that Father Dyer, administering the last rites, sees in Karras's dying eyes. Many involved with the movie's production have said that the film isn't fundamentally a horror movie so much as it's a movie about faith. Maybe so, but the point is far clearer in the novel.

While the movie is a fairly faithful distillation of the book (largely thanks to Blatty's having adapted his own book into a screenplay), it leaves out a host of details that would have greatly enriched the story. The movie also subtly or unsubtly shifts the book's emphasis slightly away from Karras's crisis of faith and doesn't end with Karras's final moment of triumph. I can understand why the movie made the changes it did (plenty of other little details were changed as well, and there are dozens of websites with articles comparing and contrasting the myriad novel/movie differences), but a major sticking point for me is the movie's slight move away from the centrality of the issue of Karras's faith.

My suggestion would be to see the movie, in all of its 70s-era quaintness, then to read the novel, which will provide a much richer experience. Movies excel in the area of visual storytelling; books excel at narrative and character interiority. Both versions of Blatty's story are excellent, each in their own way, but ultimately, the novel proves to be the more satisfying of the two versions.


The Boys, Season 5: one-paragraph review

Pretty much the only reason why I followed Amazon's series The Boys after Season 3 was completism. I had mostly stopped caring after Season 3. Season 5 marks the finale for the main storyline of the Vought universe (Vought is the corporation that created superheroes). I think I'd heard that the college spinoff Gen V, which I'd followed for two seasons, has been canceled, but two spinoffs—1950s retro series Vought Rising and the modern-era The Boys: Mexico, are currently in development. But let's focus on this concluding season of the main series that started it all. I started off liking The Boys a lot because of its darkly, perversely comic sendup of "normal" superheroes from comics houses like DC and Marvel. Sometime around Season 2 or 3, I even wrote a defense of the series when most rightie reviewers were slagging the show for having become overly anti-conservative. At least through the first two seasons, The Boys was, I thought, fairly balanced in its satire, and its humor worked on several levels. But the show's final two or three seasons did indeed slide over into a wild-eyed, leftist nightmare of Trump's America, and the humor devolved into something simpler and broader, laced with plenty of fucks and cunts and dick jokes and brains being splattered all over Hughie (Jack Quaid). This season, the feral Kimiko (Karen Fukuhara) starts talking; Starlight (Erin Moriarty) looks shockingly different after the actress's plastic surgery; Butcher (Karl Urban) finally finds peace, in a manner of speaking; and Homelander (Anthony Starr) gets his long-awaited comeuppance after trying to pass himself off as God. Overall, it was hard for me to care about the fates of the various characters. The show on the whole, and Season 5 in particular, spends so much time being darkly cynical that, when a bit of uncynical earnestness appears in the final episode, it's hard not to snicker in derision. So if you're okay with picking and choosing, and you have a strong desire to watch The Boys, I can't recommend the series beyond Season 3. It started strong, but as with so many series, it ended with a whimper.


I'm still not really a steak guy

As much as I respect the prowess of people who do steaks well, I'm still not much of a steak guy. I prefer my meat thinly sliced—maybe with a char—quickly cooked, and nicely sauced. That's just me. I know a lot of Euro-descended people haven't evolved much from their caveman days, so they still prefer to work their teeth on large hunks of meat. Hey, you do you, and frankly, I don't mind a steak every now and then, either.




it's not a victory yet, but there's a chance

One of the last things I did last night, before going to sleep, was to follow my ex-coworker's advice and hit the HomeTax site to get a tax report from that period when I'd been working at Sookmyung Women's University. It took some doing; I thought I had registered for the site after having done taxes with it last year, and that may be true, but I ended up having to create a new password from scratch. (To be fair, there are US websites and other Korean websites that ask you to alter your password every few months).

My point is that I successfully got into HomeTax and printed out the report, having chosen the period from 2005 to 2009. Whatever years you pick, the actual years that appear on the report will be [selected year - 1], i.e., the report shows data from 2004 to 2008 (I had worked at Sookmyung from 2005 to 2008). Sure enough, as my ex-coworker had said, the report clearly shows me as being salaried and taxed during that period, with my income source being none other than Sookmyung. This is proof positive that I'd been employed there.

So, delighted, I sent the report PDF over to that stubborn, evidence-demanding Sookmyung office along with a tart little remark that there should be no further need for proof I had taught there. The basic facts were right there on the tax report.

It's almost 4 p.m. right now; most of the business day is done. Assuming the office staff started work at 9 or 10 a.m. this morning, they've had hours to consider my email. Part of me is thrumming with grim satisfaction as I imagine them squirming and/or flailing about to try to dig up the proper records (which, based on my interactions with other offices, they can simply generate right there on the spot). Part of me is impatient to receive a reply email. If Sookmyung tries to pull another weepy, "I'm sorry, but there's nothing we can do" bit of nonsense, I don't know what I can do, but I'll think of something because this is becoming a point of pride.

Best-case scenario: I get an email with the desired employment certificate and a few meek remarks. Worst-case scenario: I write off Sookmyung and hope people are satisfied with employment records going back only to 2013.


some documents already coming back

I think the apostilled copies of my diplomas are already on their way back to me. And if I understand correctly, Monument Visa, which has yet to receive my original diplomas because they're still en route, will hold the original diplomas until they get the FBI criminal background check. A staffer at Monument Visa said it's likely the FBI will provide a PDF version of that background check, so sending the PDF to Monument Visa for the final apostille can happen fairly quickly. But I'll still have to send the FBI's paper original to them for legal/clerical reasons. Once Monument Visa has that physical copy and makes whatever final confirmations it needs to do to be in the clear (cover your ass), the company will bundle up both diplomas plus the FBI report and send all three back to me. And aside from a health report, two letters of recommendation, and a copy of my Sookmyung employment record, that ought to be about it for my ridiculous pile of paperwork.

My ex-boss says he's been teaching kids in small hagweons in his area, and he's still in the middle of doing paperwork, including what feels to him like demeaning background checks to confirm he's not a pedophile who shouldn't be working around kids. Jesus.

So here's my checklist again, but stripped of everything that had been checked previously. All that's left are the "still to do"s:

Job stuff:
☐ 1st diploma copy, converted to PDF & apostilled (arriving soon)
☐ 2nd diploma copy, converted to PDF & apostilled (arriving soon)
☐ FBI criminal background check, apostilled
☐ 2nd letter of recommendation, converted to PDF (coming soon)
☐ 3rd letter of recommendation, converted to PDF (coming soon)
☐ copy of 4th certificate of employment (2005-2008) (SMU)
☐ health check; scan form and convert to PDF for job hunting

Personal stuff:
☐ colonoscopy scheduling
☐ completed (& uploaded) first movie-review ebook ms
☐ sample lessons for universities that prove interested in me
☐ sample lessons for KMA (which probably won't hire me)
☐ lessons for private tutoring (lower priority)—test prep & various subjects
☐ more Substack material to last through September
☐ more interactive quizzes for Substack (w/different question formats)
☐ ebook version of the first movie-review book, published
☐ ms for the second movie-review book (long-term project)—start working on it

That looks a tad bit more manageable.

Oh, yeah—my tutoring ad is now up in the lobby.


keeping stupidity alive

My late uncle Ed (husband of my Emo, who passed recently) used to work for OSHA. While I get that Darwin ought to be in the driver's seat in many cases, when it comes to the construction of buildings where thousands of innocent people are going to be working, it's probably not a bad idea to have experts who uphold standards. Just look at China, with all of its building collapses due to the "tofu"-quality construction caused by all of that corruption. Even Elon Musk's companies, like SpaceX, are inspected by OSHA. Imagine the disasters if they weren't.


now, that's how you rape my childhood

"I find your lack of _____ disturbing."
a. ethics
b. wet wipes
c. makeup
d. hesitation


update: another item off the checklist

It's a miracle! When I stopped searching for a 경력증명서/gyeong ryeok-jeungmyeong seo (employment certificate) and started looking for just a 증명서 (certification) in my now-extensive email archives, I found a certificate of employment (재직증명서/jaejik-jeungmyeong seo) from Daegu Catholic University, already in PDF form. Delighted, I downloaded it, renamed the file, and did a "save as" to get it into the proper folder. Done! I'd wasted a lot of time trying to register myself as ex-faculty on the Daegu Catholic University website, but even after I'd registered, the website claimed it had no record of me. Bullshit, but whatever. I'm now too happy to care.

This means that only Sookmyung Women's University is left, and an ex-coworker has given me a couple of avenues to explore (tax and pension documents). I also have one more on-campus ace up my sleeve: my very own Chef Jean-Pierre (not the YouTube guy, but the baker and pastry chef), whom I'm seriously considering visiting just so he can come down to the third-floor office with me and attest that, yes, I had been a teacher in the Lingua Express department during the 2005-2008 period. If even his presence (he's apparently still faculty at Le Cordon Bleu in the same building where I'd taught) isn't enough to convince the Powers That Be to print me a certificate, then I don't know what else to do. It could be that my ex-coworker's email about tax and pension documents might make a stronger case for me. I'll see how much I can look up online.

Meanwhile, another check:

Job stuff:
✓ cover letter (generic, but changed to fit each university)
✓ résumé
✓ a selfie
✓ a reference list (professional + character references)
✓ scans of school transcripts (undergrad & grad)
✓ a copy of my passport (2 pages)
✓ a scanned copy of my alien-residence card (2 sides)
✓ scanned copies of my diplomas (undergrad & grad)
☐ 1st diploma copy, converted to PDF & apostilled (coming soon)
☐ 2nd diploma copy, converted to PDF & apostilled (coming soon)
☐ FBI criminal background check, apostilled
✓ 1st letter of recommendation, converted to PDF
☐ 2nd letter of recommendation, converted to PDF (coming soon)
☐ 3rd letter of recommendation, converted to PDF (coming soon)
✓ copy of 1st certificate of employment (2015-2025) (Golden Goose)
✓ copy of 2nd certificate of employment (2014-2015) (Dongguk)
 copy of 3rd certificate of employment (2013-2014) (DCU)
☐ copy of 4th certificate of employment (2005-2008) (SMU)
☐ health check; scan form and convert to PDF for job hunting

Personal stuff:
☐ colonoscopy scheduling
☐ completed (& uploaded) first movie-review ebook ms
✓ my phone as a wireless remote control for PowerPoint on my laptop
☐ sample lessons for universities that prove interested in me
☐ sample lessons for KMA (which probably won't hire me)
☐ lessons for private tutoring (lower priority)—test prep & various subjects
☐ more Substack material to last through September
☐ more interactive quizzes for Substack (w/different question formats)
☐ ebook version of the first movie-review book, published
☐ ms for the second movie-review book (long-term project)—start working on it

UPDATE: one step closer. I took my ex-coworker's advice, figured out how to get into the HomeTax site, and printed a tax report (to PDF) from 2004 to 2009 to show the stubborn SMU office. And right there on the report, it says my employer was Sookmyung Women's University. I'm just gonna send that puppy tonight, and if even that's not enough, then I really have no reason to bother Jean-Pierre except to say salut. Sending the report now. Fingers and tentacles and other dangling extremities crossed.


Tuesday, May 19, 2026

I HAVE GAINED A SUPERPOWER

I could still croak at any moment given my precarious health, but the fact remains that, after some small amount of patience and practice, 

I HAVE GAINED A SUPERPOWER!

[cue angels farting wreckage-strewn tornadoes, blue whales exploding spectacularly, electric guitar-shredding kangaroos heralding the apocalypse with stridently satanic 'roo shanties, skyscraper-sized elephants raining down megatons of feces upon the frightened residents of some native village, fleets of serene-looking ghosts sexually violating house cats, mobs of prognathous giants bellowing inarticulately while whipping their anaconda-sized dicks about in a retarded symphony of snaps and crashes and pubic-hair dandruff]

What superpower did I gain?

Oh, that.

I can now use my Samsung phone as a wireless remote control to operate my PowerPoint files. And all it took was to find my laptop, partially recharge it, download the same remote-control app onto both my cell phone and my laptop, figure out how to sync the two devices up via Bluetooth (which is way, way more useful than I ever gave it credit for*), then spend some time playing around with a PowerPoint file to see how easy it would be to control this way.

After a few stumbles, it was easy. Easy peasy. Much better than being carpet-bombed by a truckload of clay-like elephant shit. I can't wait to find out how all of this can go wrong.

When I used to do my classes at KMA, the KMA staffers would always help me with my prep. They would lay out elegant-looking, in-binder photocopies of my eight-hour-long lesson packet at whatever conference table we would be using that day, then help me get my laptop wire-connected to the room's digital projector. They would also, as a "sugar on top" gesture, give me a PowerPoint remote control that could wirelessly connect with my laptop (or with the office's own laptop if my class files happened to be stored on it) and allow me to control my PowerPoint from a distance. It was great. And now, I don't need to depend on even that, which is one less thing for the crew to set up should I ever rejoin KMA.

One less thing to depend on equals more empowerment for me. One less crutch. Some people spend their lives helplessly flailing, clutching at others, hoping to be taken care of instead of learning how to function on their own. It's like looking at a ridiculous cripple—almost embarrassing. I remember how horrible my father was with computers. I'm pretty sure that one of the reasons he eventually retired from the Maryland Air National Guard was that he'd been placed in an office job where, all day long, he had to deal with those computer thingamajigs, and I've watched Dad with pity as he slowly and fearfully tapped out messages on computer keyboards, utterly unsure if he was doing anything right, the picture of incompetence sliding into irrelevance just because of a lazy refusal to sit down and learn. Don't be like my dad. Learn stuff. Keep learning stuff, even if you mess everything up the first few times. Don't become helpless and useless, a burden to others. Acquire superpowers. Yeah, I'm speaking to myself as well because lazy complacency is always a danger. Stay sharp.

__________

*I used to ignore Bluetooth features because, I felt, I had no use for Bluetooth, which never struck me as relevant. Then I bought my current iMac back in 2021 (it's a fresh-out-of-the-box 2019 model), and it had a Bluetooth wireless keyboard as well as a Bluetooth mouse. Now, wireless devices' most annoying feature is that they have to be routinely recharged, and my mouse runs out a lot faster than my keyboard does, especially these days. Otherwise, the wirelessness has pampered me: There's so much less clutter. So my iMac was my gateway drug. That same year (2021), I got a new phone—a Samsung Galaxy S21 to replace my old, beaten-up, 2014-era phone, bought when I was living in Hayang, next to Daegu. Only months later did I realize that the damn thing had no ports for earbuds: I would have to buy wireless earbuds. Years passed; I got the Bluetooth earbuds while in the States (they, too, need to be recharged, albeit not too often), and suddenly, I was able to sit in an airport or a coffee shop or a hospital waiting area and watch YouTube videos without disturbing anyone else with my videos' noise. And now, here are again—Bluetooth to the rescue as I connect my laptop and phone so I can control my laptop's PowerPoints remotely. Nice. And all it took was some patience and effort. Yeah, I know I'm way happier about this than I should be, but it's another thing off my checklist.

Job stuff:
✓ cover letter (generic, but changed to fit each university)
✓ résumé
✓ a selfie
✓ a reference list (professional + character references)
✓ scans of school transcripts (undergrad & grad)
✓ a copy of my passport (2 pages)
✓ a scanned copy of my alien-residence card (2 sides)
✓ scanned copies of my diplomas (undergrad & grad)
☐ 1st diploma copy, converted to PDF & apostilled (coming soon)
☐ 2nd diploma copy, converted to PDF & apostilled (coming soon)
☐ FBI criminal background check, apostilled
✓ 1st letter of recommendation, converted to PDF
☐ 2nd letter of recommendation, converted to PDF (coming soon)
☐ 3rd letter of recommendation, converted to PDF (coming soon)
✓ 1st copy of certificate of employment (2015-2025)
✓ 2nd copy of certificate of employment (2014-2015)
☐ 3rd copy of certificate of employment (2013-2014) (maybe not coming...?)
☐ 4th copy of certificate of employment (2005-2008) (maybe not coming...?)
☐ health check; scan form and convert to PDF for job hunting

Personal stuff:
☐ colonoscopy scheduling
☐ completed (& uploaded) first movie-review ebook ms
 my phone as a wireless remote control for PowerPoint on my laptop
☐ sample lessons for universities that prove interested in me
☐ sample lessons for KMA (which probably won't hire me)
☐ lessons for private tutoring (lower priority)—test prep & various subjects
☐ more Substack material to last through September
☐ more interactive quizzes for Substack (w/different question formats)
☐ ebook version of the first movie-review book, published
☐ ms for the second movie-review book (long-term project)—start working on it


Lee Child's master class

On why plot isn't as important as you think it is. Don't worry: He's not totally dismissing its value; he's merely putting it in its place. I could listen to this guy all day. He's a Brit who's lived in New York for much of his life, and if you listen carefully, you can hear how the ambient American accent has sanded down the hard edges of his English accent.



generic cover letter: now written

No change at Dave's ESL Cafe. There are still two job ads for English summer camp and one very old ad for Cheongju University; the Cheongju ad ought to be taken down since the hiring period ended on May 11. The two summer camps are in Seoul; Cheongju is outside of Seoul, about 22 km northeast of Sejong City.

Friend and occasional commenter Daniel suggested that I take a look at a site called Unijobs.kr. For the longest time, it was showing ads for jobs whose application time had come and gone (a May 8 due date for many of them). Now, though, it's showing plenty of uni ads, but none for Seoul. I'm tempted to apply anyway, but leaving Seoul means losing my W10 million rental deposit and still having to pay rent until my studio's next occupant puts down his deposit. That really is a deal with the devil.

But the lack of new uni ads on Dave's ESL just allows me time to get myself more and more ready. I now have a generic cover letter, with scanned signature, ready to go. So here's that checklist again, updated:

Job stuff:
 cover letter (generic, but changed to fit each university)
✓ résumé
✓ a selfie
✓ a reference list (professional + character references)
✓ scans of school transcripts (undergrad & grad)
✓ a copy of my passport (2 pages)
✓ a scanned copy of my alien-residence card (2 sides)
✓ scanned copies of my diplomas (undergrad & grad)
☐ 1st diploma copy, converted to PDF & apostilled (coming soon)
☐ 2nd diploma copy, converted to PDF & apostilled (coming soon)
☐ FBI criminal background check, apostilled
 1st letter of recommendation, converted to PDF
☐ 2nd letter of recommendation, converted to PDF (coming soon)
☐ 3rd letter of recommendation, converted to PDF (coming soon)
 1st copy of certificate of employment (2015-2025)
✓ 2nd copy of certificate of employment (2014-2015)
☐ 3rd copy of certificate of employment (2013-2014) (maybe not coming...?)
☐ 4th copy of certificate of employment (2005-2008) (maybe not coming...?)
☐ health check; scan form and convert to PDF for job hunting

Personal stuff:
☐ colonoscopy scheduling
☐ completed (& uploaded) first movie-review ebook ms
☐ my phone as a wireless remote control for PowerPoint on my laptop
☐ sample lessons for universities that prove interested in me
☐ sample lessons for KMA (which probably won't hire me)
☐ lessons for private tutoring (lower priority)—test prep & various subjects
☐ more Substack material to last through September
☐ more interactive quizzes for Substack (w/different question formats)
☐ ebook version of the first movie-review book, published
☐ ms for the second movie-review book (long-term project)—start working on it

I'm supposed to meet my ex-boss for lunch sometime before the end of this month, and he's going to pass me a printed and hand-signed letter of recommendation that I will then scan, convert to PDF, and keep as part of my arsenal.


goddammit

This feels like a comical version of the horror-movie scenario where little kids inadvertently give away the family's position while everyone's trying to hide from the monster. But in this case, the kid is cheerfully, innocently giving away the monster's position.


the numbers went down on their own

The past couple of days have seen a major drop in bot traffic: I've been showing only 2000-4000 daily site visits, which is still unreasonably high. I remember the old, pre-2010 days, before bots were ever a problem for us invisible bloggers, when I was happy to average 350 visits per day. These days, when the traffic spikes to crazy levels, I worry about getting botted to death. But not at the moment. Right now, things feel calmer.


here's one for you, Solomon

Watch the video below. So who's being a jerk?

I can tell you this: When I buy eggs at the store, I expect that my eggs won't be cracked when I buy them. There are tests you can do, while at the store, to see whether any eggs are cracked in the carton, but sometimes, even those tests don't catch the occasional cracked egg. I'm enough of a cook that, if I find an egg is cracked when I get home, I know there are things I can do to salvage it, e.g., microwave it with salt, pepper, cheese, and herbs, then eat it on the spot, or use the egg right away in that night's recipe. So for me, a cracked egg is no big deal.

If the thrust of the video is that the woman was making some kind of petty, money-grubbing complaint, I'm not seeing it, especially after watching the video and noting the woman's perfectly civil behavior. Yeah, she gives the guy a look of disbelief as he's "repairing" her one broken egg, but I don't think it's unreasonable for her to expect that all of her eggs will be unbroken when she leaves the store.

Now—did the egg break once she got home? I have no idea, and the video offers us no clues. If she broke her own egg at home, then tried to return the carton to get a supposed $15 back (really? $15 for fifteen eggs?), then she's obviously at fault. But I can only judge according to what I see, and from what I see, there's no reason to have a laugh at this lady, who didn't rage, who didn't make a scene, and who was totally civil. If anything, I'm inclined to see the guy behind the counter as being a smartass to someone who's already having a bad day.

The video has the caption "This is how you respond to absurdity with even more absurdity," so I assume the caption writer is siding with the counter guy. He's assuming that the woman's request is absurd. I've been out of the country for a while, so it's up to my fellow Yanks to school me on this: Is it reasonable or unreasonable to expect all of your eggs to be unbroken when you walk out of the store with them, and if that's an unreasonable expectation, why?




Monday, May 18, 2026

checklist update and other things

Here's the original to-do checklist with new stuff added on:

☐ cover letter (generic, but changed to fit each university)
✓ résumé
✓ a selfie
✓ scans of school transcripts (undergrad & grad)
✓ a copy of my passport (2 pages)
✓ a copy of my alien-residence card (2 sides—scanned today)
✓ scanned copies of my diplomas (undergrad & grad)
☐ copies of letters of recommendation (I have 1 out of 3 so far)
☐ copies of certificates of employment (I have 2 out of 4 so far)
☐ a copy of a recent "health report" (coming soon)
☐ a copy of the FBI criminal background check (coming in a few weeks)
☐ FBI background-check apostille
☐ completed first movie-review book ms
☐ my phone as a wireless remote control for PowerPoint on my laptop
☐ sample lessons for universities that prove interested in me
☐ sample lessons for KMA (which probably won't hire me)
☐ lessons for private tutoring (lower priority)—test prep & various subjects
☐ more Substack material to last through September
☐ more interactive quizzes for Substack (w/different question formats)
☐ ebook version of the first movie-review book, published
☐ ms for the second movie-review book (long-term project)—start working on it
☐ health check
☐ colonoscopy scheduling

After digging through my normally closed boxes of office stuff, I finally found a small box of thumbtacks. Relief. I went down to the lobby message board to put up my message... and the message board turns out not to be made of cork: It's magnetic. Fuck. So, down I went to the B1 grocery to see whether they sold any small magnets. Nope. I went back up to the first floor 7-Eleven to see whether it had any magnets. The store had anything but: They had clips and stickers. So I've had to order magnets from Coupang; they'll be along tomorrow. One day of my limited time has already been wasted. My ad is still not on the board.

Let's rewind a bit. I found out the message board was magnetic when I tried sinking a tack into the surface, and nothing budged. Out of monkey curiosity, I reached over to a random poster and plucked at the tack-like fastener at one corner. The fastener surprised me by barely resisting as I pulled it off the paper, and when I saw the "tack's" flat bottom, I knew: goddamn magnets. (Made to look like thumbtacks, no less.) And no one thought to warn me? Fuckers.

Anyway, help is on the way, and my tutoring ad will be up on Day 2. Sigh. What a day.

I had left a special message for Monument Visa not to staple their apostilles to my diplomas, but they just wrote back to say that they have to staple the apostilles unless I can give them high-quality scans of the diplomas—scans that they can print out and staple the apostilles to. I resignedly wrote back that they may as well just staple the apostilles to the originals; it's another $20 each for me to send electronic copies, and given my copies' dubious quality, it's probably not worth the extra $40 total. I'll be sending Monument Visa my FBI criminal check once it comes back to me, anyway, so they'll have one more chance to suck out a lot of blood from my wallet. If that's not too weirdly mixed a metaphor.

I did, at least, successfully send the diplomas off. That, too, cost me a pretty penny given the size of the shipping tube.

Nothing in Korea ever moves smoothly from A to B. Especially for foreigners. Putting together my job-application documents these past few weeks has been a royal pain in the ass. Like everyone else in the civilized world, I hate paperwork.


sandwich battle: Babish vs. the Fallow guys

I've seen a ton of YouTuber food battles, but none quite like this. In this battle, the two Fallow guys (Will Murray and Jack Croft, the owners of the much praised, low-waste London restaurants Fallow, FOWL, and Roe) go up against Babish (real name: Andrew Rea) on his home turf of New York City. The object of the game: Create a good specialty sandwich in four hours, then be judged by three Americans.

What made this battle so different from other food battles I've seen is a little moment that happens while the two teams are out in the city, shopping for ingredients. There's an instant when Jack Croft has what the Brits call a brain wave, i.e., a brainstorm. He asks Murray why they don't just make an unrepentantly British sandwich, based on the "dip" idea, but made with England's most iconic dish: chicken tikka masala. This brain wave proves to have massive repercussions throughout the rest of the battle, and as creative moves go, I felt almost honored to have witnessed it. Babish, meanwhile, brought his "A" game and went with an almost haute-cuisine rendition of a French dip, loaded up with creamed spinach, thin slices of dry-aged beef, and two types of aged Gruyère—one from Switzerland and one from Amurrica. Watch the battle and see who wins. Enjoy the brain wave when it happens, and enjoy how that creative decision's momentum carries through to the end of the video. Most such battles leave me rolling my eyes, but this one, I think, merits your attention. I very much enjoyed it.




errand/task update

Stymied by a lack of thumbtacks, which I just found out are called apjeong/압정 in Korean (is that ap/압 as in "pressure"? so a bit like a pushpin?). I went to our building's admin office to get permission to slap up an ad. I asked the guy whether I could do that, how long the ad could stay up, and whether I'd have to pay to keep the ad up. He stamped a Post-It note to give me permission (which I found weird since that can fall off or be ripped off) and told me the ad could stay up for free. At first, I thought he'd said "for a week," but in looking at the date the ad is to come down, I see "6/25/26" on there, so I guess I missed the "one month and" part. He said I could hang the ad up on the side of the bulletin board for residents (the board's other half is apparently for more official, formal announcements by Those in Authority).

So that left me with the problem of how to hang the ad up. I got to the lobby and dimply realized: no tacks. Like the idiot I am, I hadn't gone down to the lobby with thumbtacks, but I was pretty sure I had a box of tacks stored on one of my bookshelves. So I went back to my place, found the container I'd been thinking of, and... it was full of mini binder clips, all tack-colored. Age makes the brain play tricks on you. I did know, though, that I've got plenty of legitimate tacks in one of my office-supply boxes, so I'll be rifling through those boxes soon (didn't I just do that last week?).

Otherwise, I successfully mailed off my diplomas to Monument Visa, located in Fairfax, Virginia, relatively close to where I'd spent my childhood. Small world.

Still to do: (1) scan my employment certificate from Dongguk University (still haven't heard back from Sookmyung after answering their request for more information; I bet they gave up), (2) scan my F-4 visa (both sides), (3) look into putting some tutoring ads up on Soomgo, and (4) look more closely into whether I really want to teach for eight hellish days in a children's English summer camp. The money is tempting.

I also need to get back to finishing up my movie-review book, after which I have to start creating various materials to tote along with me if a university should ask me to teach a sample lesson, and I need to create sample lessons to shop around to KMA and to use for various forms of private tutoring (I'm putting myself out there for SAT prep, TOEFL prep, accent reduction (nebulous concept but somewhat in vogue), listening, grammar, conversation, reading, etc. Before June ends, I need to create another raft of Substack material as well as generate more interactive quizzes, maybe using different formats this time (fill in the blanks, sequencing, matching, etc.), and at some point, I need to start creating the second movie-review book in the series (going from 2016 to 2018). I've got enough shit to keep me occupied until my second heart attack or stroke. Which reminds me... I still need to schedule a damn colonoscopy, and maybe next week, assuming I'm more or less stable after the pizza orgy, I need to get a standard health check that I can then scan as part of my ever-growing pile of university job-application documents.

Good God, that's a lot of crap to do.

Just a little at a time. A little at a time.

And now... to find those damn tacks and hang up my ad.

UPDATE: Surprise! Sookmyung just wrote to say they still can't find any proof I'd ever taught there, but that I'm welcome to keep contacting them if I find more information. Well, I've got one old coworker in my email address book, and maybe a former supervisor, too. Together, they might be able to give me the email address for our department head, whose name utterly escapes me after almost two decades (and I doubt I have recommendation letters from 2008 still on file). So—more to come. Also: I'd written two contacts from my time at Daegu Catholic University, but neither has written me back. One moved back to the States; the other seems to be teaching on DCU campus, but I'm not sure. Maybe she's dead. I do hope I get some sort of proof of employment from somebody soon.


the burden of the phone

Without thinking, I had mistakenly asked my friend Neil to give his contact my phone number. I don't know why I did that except that I must've been groggy (I'm not usually a morning person when I'm not out walking). I belatedly tried asking Neil to give the contact my email, but it was too late: My number had already been sent. According to Neil, the contact is supposed to call today, but I have no idea when, so I've been on alert since 9 a.m., trying to decide whether to go out and do an errand. While I keep my cell phone with me when I'm out, I'm much less likely to answer it since it's in my pants pocket and on vibrate, so I normally don't even feel it when someone calls. I also don't usually pick up when I see an unfamiliar number, and since I don't know the contact's phone number, I'll have to answer every unfamiliar call that comes to me today until the contact calls. None of that is Neil's fault; I did this to myself. I should have pumped the brakes right at the beginning and asked Neil to give the contact my email address. That way, I wouldn't have had to feel bound to my phone, which is one reason why I hate phone conversations to begin with: It's their synchronous nature. Texts and emails can be answered asynchronously, i.e., not right at that moment, so there's much less pressure to reply. Extroverts probably don't care about any of this because they love jabbering anyway—people are their lifeblood—but for us introverts, unless we're dealing with close friends, every conversation is an intrusion and a burden.

So having done some housekeeping stuff for the past few hours, I'm saying Fuck it, cleaning myself up, and stepping out to do some damn errands. I'll hear from this person (who works for some sort of tutor-placement agency), or I won't. It is what it is.

Blood sugar today: 224, down from 238. The descent begins. I'd better at least be under 200 by the end of the week. Gawd... then another pizza on Saturday.

Another thing to do today: master the art of turning my cell phone into a remote-control PowerPoint device. I'm gonna try some stuff on my Mac laptop later.

UPDATE: The relevant contact is apparently away right now, and Neil kindly took the step of asking them to please text me. 

I feel bad that I'm putting Neil through this. He is owed a nice meal.