Sunday, December 07, 2003

quid pro quo

Latin for "tit for tat," a phrase redolent of lesbian porn scenes. The Maximum Leader Himself is now exhorting you to vote for me, and since he's the Maximum Leader, it really doesn't matter whether you actually believe I'm the best essayist or not. Granted, I'm no Twain-- whether Mark or Shania. But I am the Maximum Leader's Poet Laureate, which means that bad things will happen to your pets if you fail to vote for me. Ever seen a house cat dipped in hydrochloric acid? Not pretty (but very tasty after the ensuing milk bath and rinse-down).

Ever seen a dog made into soup? No, I mean the process from beginning to end.

You can vote until late December, which gives us plenty of time to cheat the system (by the way, I also rated CALIGULA on that test, Mike). Here's the Maximum Leader's advice to you, his loyal minions:

Go over to Flying Chair and vote. Vote early. Vote often. Go to an internet cafe and vote on all their machines. Just do it.

If we spread the vote-for-the-Hominid meme quickly and aggressively enough, we may reach a threshold where the votes suddenly come pouring in. This would be consistent with the still-unproven Hundredth Monkey Hypothesis-- a given meme sinks into a threshold number of the population, and suddenly everyone's absorbed the meme. Help prove Lyall Watson correct!

Ah, yes: tit for tat. If you're a longtime patron of the Maximum Leader's blog, then you know he was selling products long before I started to. Do yourself (and me) a favor: if you don't plan on voting for me, visit the ML's shop and buy something. Consider it a gesture of tribute. Stock your Maximum Leader's coffers with filthy lucre, so his Villainettes can receive only the best-quality education the realm has to offer. Even better: buy as a way of telling the ML that you're a fellow conservative and you very much enjoy his blog. Since conservatives probably comprise 75% of the anglophonic blogosphere, there's no reason to be shy or feel you're swimming against the current. Buy, minions! BUY!

If you're new to this site and upset by how pushy I am, remember:

Shhhh... you can find this design on some of my products at Caverns of the Big Hominid. Shhhh.



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