the ultimate write-up

I want all future write-ups to feature something like the content of this sterling piece I saw over at Rathbone Press:

The Big Hominid, now apparently wandering the streets of Seoul aimlessly without a home and job, is showing signs of further dementia. Topics on his slate this week include his pet centipede, "That Sly Fucker, George Lucas," walking around with his fly open all day, and leaving his job at Seoul Women's University. Let's keep our fingers (or other appendages) crossed and hope he gets the job at Ehwa Woman's University he applied for.

If you can't say something like this about me, don't bother saying anything at all. The image of an abject, dissolute Hominid-- lolling about on the streets of Seoul, forsaken by the world, a pariah, a Samaritan, left to do little more than belch autistically, piss in dark corners, fling shit at ugly people, and grab random women's asses-- is one I want to promote as aggressively as possible.

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