I dreamed I was a goldfish with enormous horse testicles. This in itself isn't particularly noteworthy; plenty of people have that dream. What was different was that, in my dream, my testicles were covered with iron spikes and I was thrashing them wildly about during some pitched land battle-- maybe somewhere in Mongolia. I don't remember how I was able to crush so many skulls, though. I was a goldfish; I didn't have legs. Where did I get my elevation?
Goddammit, WHERE DID I GET MY ELEVATION??
_
I see you get the same spam emails I do.
ReplyDeleteKevin
If you were a fish with huge spike-covered testicles, the *spikes* would give you elevation.
ReplyDeleteI'm picturing a fish wobbling along upright upon a prickling array of spikes, each of which acts like an individual leg.
Good lord. How'd *that* image get into my head?
Lorianne,
ReplyDeleteI suppose you could use that image for visualization purposes in some form of Tibetan Buddhist meditation.
Kevin
PS: On the field of battle, goldfish do not wobble!
_
Is it a sin to be mildly aroused by the notion of iron-spiked horse testes? ::blushes, coyly::
ReplyDeleteMy next question: do you think they would rust during teabagging?