One thing I've never liked about this time of year, though, is the way people trot out the clichéd images. Like the following:
Trite, yes? Can't say I've ever enjoyed that image. It's boring. It's obvious. Surely there must be better ways of depicting the arrival of the new and the exit of the old.
How about something more exciting, like this:
I think the above is a decent way to show what it's like: a poignant reminder of our equestrian past, with a helicopter symbolizing our present and future.
If excitement is the wrong way to go, we could also go for intimate. How about the following:
A seductive red background, and a man eating pussy. Surely this is a better, more forceful way to symbolize the passage from old to new!
Sigh.
I told you before that my parents had given me a cereal called "Optimum Zen" as a gag gift. Since my arrival, that's all I've been eating, along with my remaining fruit, to save money. The cereal is actually pretty good. In fact, I've decided to spread the word:
I hope you'll try Optimum Zen-- the cereal that'll make you as strong and healthy as I am.
By the way... if you think using a fat man to advertise healthy food is a mistake, allow me to remind you of Exhibit A:
If the great Wilford Brimley can shill for Quaker Oats, then I don't see what the problem is with my whoring for Optimum Zen.
May the new year bring you everything you desire... except that one thing.
_
Wilford Brimley's flaming fart is brilliant. Happy New Year. I'm still waiting for it here in Wisconsin.
ReplyDeleteOf course: the one image I didn't actually draw gets all the accolades. Yeah, Happy New Year to you, too, dammit.
ReplyDeleteKevin
Happy 2006, Kev.
ReplyDelete"Zen Cereal: For Enlightened Colons!"
ReplyDeleteHappy New Year Wishes, and May Your Farts Always be Downwind!
Happy New Year, Kevin. I swear, I dreamt about you and Zen Cereal this afternoon. Every morsel of cereal was individually wrapped - it was so pretty! You left it on a counter and I tried a bit and gave a piece each to two kids standing nearby. You didn't notice when you came back to get your cereal.
ReplyDeleteHappy New Year, Kevin!
ReplyDeleteHappy New Year and 새해 복 많이 받으세요.
ReplyDeleteAnd if it will make you feel any better, I thought your original images were rather amusing. The helicopter-ass one cracked me up.