My secret is dark coloured pants, unlike The Big Hominid who seems to be at the mercy of his coworkers when it comes to the development of nasty sweat stains.
The Bimbo assumes I don't wear dark-colored pants. Where did this assumption come from? Alas: I do wear dark pants. Black ones. As black as my twisted, evil soul. And let me tell you: sweat stains on dark-colored pants are arguably worse-looking than sweat stains on lighter-colored pants. Why? Because everyone expects dark colors to hide sweat stains! When sweat stains appear on dark colors, they reinforce the fact that you are one perspirin' motherfucker.
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