Friday, November 17, 2006

siesta, followed by errands and dinner

I'm tired as hell after a bad night's sleep. Am gonna take a nap, do some errands, and then head over to Dr. Hodges's Cyclone-fenced domicile for some chow.

It's not every day that one can actually see Dr. Hodges in person. As something of a global celebrity, Dr. Hodges has found it necessary to fortify his home and office to protect himself and his family from the prying eyes of the press and various panty-throwing admirers, female and male.

A Google Earth shot of the good professor's compound reveals a home set inside three concentric circles of electrified security fence, what appear to be guard dogs the size of trailer trucks, and, perhaps most bizarrely, a ring of large-breasted strippers. I assume the latter's role is mainly to serve as a distraction of some sort, to hold an intruder's attention so that the house's roof-mounted Vulcan cannon has time to acquire a lock and blast the target to smithereens.

When I was invited to dinner weeks ago, Dr. Hodges told me that he needed a few items from me for ID confirmation purposes. I was then forced at gunpoint into a dank concrete cell, where I had to provide a lock of hair along with stool, urine, and blood samples. The man is known throughout the Koreablogosphere for his thoroughness; this procedure simply confirmed Dr. Hodges's reputation.

I was then prodded into a metallic teleportation booth. When I stepped out, I found myself in some sort of clinic, where I was asked by a stunningly gorgeous receptionist to fill out a separate form and provide a sperm sample. When I asked why, I was told this was "for Korea University bioweapons research purposes." I shrugged, signed the form, and left a generous sample all over the lovely woman's desk.

Wish me luck this evening. Siesta time now.


UPDATE: My siesta pinishi!


_

No comments:

Post a Comment

READ THIS BEFORE COMMENTING!

All comments are subject to approval before they are published, so they will not appear immediately. Comments should be civil, relevant, and substantive. Anonymous comments are not allowed and will be unceremoniously deleted. For more on my comments policy, please see this entry on my other blog.