apologies to Hahna

No pics of yesterday's meal, alas; by the time we tucked in at 5PM, the light was waning, and my living room light is too weak for a good photo. But the menu was:

APPETIZER

lame baguette from Food Lion
Wegmans triple-creme Brie (far too awesome for that baguette)
Wegmans Alpine cheese (courtesy of Dr. Steve)
chocolate-covered marzipan (courtesy of Dr. Steve-- more on this in a moment)

BEVERAGE

Gosling's All Natural Ginger Beer (courtesy of Dr. Steve)

MAIN COURSE

turkey
stuffing (cornbread, corn, and sausage)
peas
corn
carrot and raisin salad
mashed potatoes (cream, cream cheese, butter, light herbs and seasonings)
honey-baked sweet potatoes (Food Network recipe-- from crazy-eyed Ellie Krieger)
cranberry sauce (homemade)

DESSERT

Wegmans apple pie (also courtesy of Dr. Steve)

SNACKS

a can of Chinese eel (!!)
Wegmans Australian-style Red Twists (better than regular Twizzlers)
Hapi brand hot wasabi peas
Landsberg Hazelnut Chocolate Spread
Wegmans Cranberry Walnut Loaf
Old Dominion Butter Peanut Crunch (i.e., peanut brittle)
Wegmans Classic Entertainment Crackers (butter-crackers-- amazing)
Wegmans Jumbo Roasted Cashews

(all the above courtesy of... you know)

And now a story. It goes like this:

Dr. Steve arrives on Thanksgiving afternoon and unpacks this monstrous load of food. A portion of it is going to his aunt, whom he's visiting the following day, but he wants the bulk of the food to remain here with me. He unloads item after item, and at one point he pulls out this foil-wrapped, dildo-shaped object and claims it's "chocolate-covered Marmite." My mind is going Whafuck? but I roll with it, thinking this must be some perverse item you can only find at Wegmans. We start snacking on the baguette and cheeses; Dr. Steve asks whether I want to try any of his licorice; I say, "No, but I think I want to try that chocolate-covered Marmite first because I don't want to end dinner on a nasty note." Dr. Steve's a good sport and he laughs; he opens the chocolate package up and it still looks like a dildo. I take a knife and stare at the dildo as if it represented the greatest challenge I've ever faced-- and truth be told, I'm really not looking forward to eating Marmite-- let alone chocolate-covered Marmite.

"I've never seen you get so worked up about a food item," Dr. Steve observes with wry amusement.

I cut into the object...

...and the first thing I notice is that this isn't Marmite: it's off-white and is the consistency of...

"This looks like marzipan," I say.

Dr. Steve goes, "Oh, right-- that's what it is!"

All that drama for nothing.

What I learn from this is that I can trust my buddy when I need an explanation of the murkier aspects of poststructuralism, but I should fact-check everything he says about food.


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