shoulder booger

I cover my mouth with my hand when I sneeze-- I don't thrust my face into the crook of an elbow. Old habits die hard, I guess, and I suppose I also fear the potential for me to pull away from an especially violent sneeze with a thick rope of snot connecting my face to my sleeve. That would be an unforgivable sartorial faux pas. A hand over the face-holes is much more tasteful and discreet.

But hands have their disadvantages, as I belatedly realized today. At one point during an afternoon tutoring session I sneezed, reflexively covering my mouth with my hand... and inadvertently guiding a prize-winning chunk of snot onto my right shoulder, where it sat leering spitefully at my students like a pirate's parrot. I didn't notice this sorry fact until God-know-how-many minutes later, at which point I whirled in my swivel chair and deftly batted the offending booger off my person. Jesus, I hope nobody noticed that echoed lamely through by brain, but I knew that at least one student had had ample opportunity to sight the nose boulder. What a shame.

So today, for an unknown period of time, I wore the rank insignia of a flag officer of the Narine Corps. It could have been worse, I suppose: the snot could have been wet.


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