Last night, at around 10:30PM, the apartment's electronic bell suddenly chimed: someone was at the door. I ran into my bedroom, threw on some pants, then went to answer the door. Two old, smiling ladies were standing there, and at first I thought this was some perverse form of Jehovah's Witness proselytizing. It turned out the ladies were casing our building, garnering votes (tu-pyo) for... something or other. At ten-goddamn-thirty, though?
They told me I needed to sign a sheet on a clipboard to indicate that they had indeed visited me; shrugging, I signed it. They then presented me with a small rectangular piece of paper on which I needed to draw a circle inside one of two boxes. "Vote," they said. I didn't read the text of what I was voting for, and in fact, one lady indicated with her finger which box I needed to mark. "Just draw a circle," she said, completely unashamed about skewing the vote. "I'm not this apartment's actual tenant," I said. "That's OK!" the ladies beamed.
So I drew a tiny circle in the left-hand box; they thanked me and went on their way.
What the fuck did I vote for? Continued illegal organ-harvesting in China? The promotion of child prostitution in Seoul? I have no earthly clue. Whom have I doomed? Somewhere out there, millions of voices suddenly cry out in terror, and are suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened. All because of my vote.
_
Uh oh. They've been trying to get us to sell the apartment for new high rise development. We were the last holdout. You'll be see construction cranes going up tomorrow...
ReplyDeleteWhat is this, May Fool's?
ReplyDeleteDo you have an MA degree? I may be able to get you an interview with a university in the Daegu area that is looking for someone to start in September.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Scott. My MA is in Religion and Culture, which isn't particularly helpful unless the university in question has one of those "an MA in any subject" requirements. I do, however, have a certificate in language teaching from Georgetown University. Not the certificate itself, mind you, but an attestation on my undergraduate transcript.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, which Scott is this?
ReplyDeleteAn MA in religion and culture will work. Send me your resume at scott@dhu.ac.kr and I'll fill you in on the details. If you aren't rushing back to the States too soon, perhaps we can set up an interview.
ReplyDeleteAs for which 'Scott' I am, I've followed your blog for years now and have occasionally commented (last comment on the topic of climate change). We've never met in person.
Scott,
ReplyDeleteThanks. I had to ask which Scott you were because, of the several Scotts I know online, there is one with whom I'm no longer on speaking terms.
I'll shoot you my résumé momentarily. Just FYI, I'm leaving Korea on May 19, so any face-to-face interviewing would have to be done before then. Otherwise, a Skype interview from the US is possible.
I'd also like to know what DHU might be offering in terms of salary, benefits, vacation, work hours, class size, and all the rest. I haven't seen any ads for DHU on Dave's ESL... does the university actually need any extra staff?
Anyway, thanks in advance for your efforts.