Like the Jewish comic's stereotype of a Yiddishe mother who can't stop herself from humiliating her boy, my own mother used to give me grief about my nose's lack of a Western-style, aquiline bridge. See the crinkle at the top of my nose? Yeah... that's thanks to my Korean genes. Plenty of Koreans have no nose bridge (although plenty also do), which may explain why some Korean chicks are fascinated by white guys: their facial geography is so much... craggier. The evidence? My mother used to have a thing for Kevin Costner, whose nose bridge pretty much occupies his entire face. (She would have said it was Costner's eyes that did it.)
"Why not go to a doctor and have him put some plastic inside there?" Mom would ask solicitously, staring at the top of my nose, as if my nose needed a neuticle.
"Mom... just stop," I'd reply sadly.
But remarks on my looks don't come exclusively from mothers. My buddy Tom recently used the term "salt-and-pepper" to describe my hair. I suppose I'm at that point, now, where the gray is impossible to hide or deny. One thing I won't do, however, is cover up the gray: coloring is for pussies, as I've noted before. I can't think of anything sadder or more ridiculous than a Korean octogenarian with perfectly black hair (and/or a combover). Whom do such people think they're fooling? Personally, I'd rather die than dye.
So here I am, un-Photoshopped, nose-bridge crinkle and all.
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Your mother was right - you gotta get people not to notice that crinkle!
ReplyDeleteHave you considered having a wart implant on the tip of your nose?
I guarantee no one will ever again notice your crinkle.
Jeffery Hodges
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If you know a decent wart-implant specialist, please point me to him.
ReplyDeleteWait, did you have salt-and-pepper hair the last time I saw you? Granted, that was a while ago, but I don't seem to remember that.
ReplyDeleteCharles,
ReplyDeleteI started going seriously gray in 2011. I do remember that distinctly. It's been downhill ever since then, but I think that, depending on the lighting, most people think my hair looks more dark brown/black than noticeably gray. For some reason, though, my two younger brothers are graying faster than I am, especially at the temples. Did you see that recent pic of Sean that I slapped up on his birthday (October 15)? If he plucked out every gray hair on his head, he'd be half-bald!
Yeah, I did actually notice that Sean's hair was quite gray. That surprised me, knowing how young he is.
ReplyDeleteI guess I'm just a really unobservant person.