unpublished

I had made several attempts to publish a definition of "Grexit" over at UrbanDictionary.com. The idea is that you write up a definition and submit it. Your definition is reviewed by a panel of unseen peers who vote your definition up or down, following whatever mysterious criteria they follow. If your definition is published or rejected, you receive an email with the happy or sad news. If it's happy news, your definition becomes part of the canon.

I tried submitting four different definitions; three were rejected, and one was published. I received my third and final rejection just today, and it was for a definition that I had crafted according to the advice that Urban Dictionary had given me regarding what the judges normally liked. Don't be too scholarly or pedantic was one piece of advice. Be funny was another. Don't go on and on was a third counsel. Strangely enough, the definition that got through the gauntlet was one of my more pedantic ones. My fourth attempt, the humorous one, didn't make the cut, which means the judgment criteria remain as mysterious as ever, and Urban Dictionary's advice on how to succeed is not to be trusted.

Anyway, for your entertainment, here's the failed-but-humorous dictionary entry for "Grexit":

GREXIT

\grɛgzɪt\ (n.)

A combination of "Greek" and "exit." Popularized late spring/early summer 2015. Refers to Greece's possible exit from the eurozone. Imagine it this way: if the eurozone is a butt and Greece is a turd, then the turd leaving the butt is a Grexit. Per this analogy, a turd can't be easily reinserted into a butt, and by the same token, if Greece left the eurozone, it would be hard for it to go back in.

While masturbating furiously, Gerald fantasized that the Grexit would be only the beginning: after Greece was gone, Spain and Portugal would leave the eurozone, and pretty soon the entire zone would collapse, with Europe going back to francs, pesos, lire, and Deutsche Mark again. Yeah.

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