my name taken in vain

A new shop called Kevin's Pie (singular, not plural) opened up in my office building. The frazzled, scatterbrained lady running the place sold me a too-expensive, W4,200 cup of hot chocolate the first day I saw her and talked with her; the chocolate was utterly unimpressive, and there wasn't enough of it in my cup. That was Strike One.

The next day, when her shop officially opened, I went back to give her one more chance. I had forgotten to ask her, on the first day, why her shop was named after a Kevin (I had, of course, informed her right off the bat that that was my name). She said the shop's creator was a Korean man who had studied abroad; while abroad, he had taken the Anglophone name "Kevin." So—mystery solved. Because I'd had my eye on a blueberry-swirl cheesecake, I asked the lady for one of those. I got an opening-day discount, but the price was still W28,000—again, far too steep for a simple, shallow pie. The lady assured me that the pie had been masterfully formulated by Kevin the culinary genius, so with high hopes, I took the pie home, let it thaw, then dug in.

It was awful. Strike Two.

The cheesecake was way too sour, like sour yogurt. You'll also note, in the following photos, that the crust is the crust you'd normally use for apple pie; cheesecake tends to be made with a sweet graham-cracker crust.

Not wanting to waste the money I'd spent, I ate my way through the cheesecake over the next few days, but I can guarantee that I won't be buying any more pies (or hot chocolate, or anything else) from Kevin's Pie. I'll stick to the Emma's Bakery just a few steps away from this shop. Emma's sells a delightful apple pie done up in a puff-pastry pocket.

Photos, for what they're worth:


You'll have noticed the poem on the box, which has no discernible meter. And the adverbial error. Strike Three?


I predict that Kevin's Pie won't last very long. What a sorry use of my name.





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