losers

I've had plenty of office crushes over the years, but it never once occurred to me that I could show my affection by ejaculating into my coworker's coffee or leaving a puddle of semen on her desk. Revolutionary! And while I lead a solitary life, I don't see myself ever building a glorified sex doll and marrying it, no matter how well it can read. (This makes me wonder how different the Star Wars saga would have been had Anakin constructed a See Threepi-ho.)

Ah, maleness and its weird extremes.

I left a pool for you today
and flavored up your joe
I hope you'll throw a look my way
the flavor's one you know