I've worked my way back through 2016, and I now have 145 files in my book's manuscript folder. This blog goes all the way back to 2003, so how many files am I going to have, all in all? Over 300? I'm going to have to do some serious slashing and burning if so. Perhaps it is advisable to cut out all the one-paragraph reviews; that's a quick way to reduce part of the pile. But if I reread the mini-reviews and find them too lovable to kill, then what?
Don't answer that. I'm just thinking out loud.
I take anything posted on this site as fair game for commenting, so I will answer: You should drag those one-paragraph reviews out behind the shed and put one loving bullet into the backs of each of their skulls. Then you will bury them in the woods and tell everyone that they are frolicking happily on a farm upstate.
ReplyDeleteBetter yet: Take these mini-reviews, order them in chronological order, and then combine them, one sentence at a time, into a massive and incoherent review. So you would take the first sentence of each review, then the second sentence, and so on. The result would no doubt be a thing of horrible, awesome beauty that you could release as a chapbook.
"Then you will bury them in the woods and tell everyone that they are frolicking happily on a farm upstate."
ReplyDeleteThis is how I know you live in Korea. My relatives used to own a nasty, snarling dog that, one day, suddenly disappeared. When I asked where the beast had gone, I got shifty looks and "He's... at a farm" in response.
Or is that the pancultural explanation for the disappearance of unwanted pets?
ReplyDelete"Venom" is primarily the story of Eddie Brock (Hardy), an investigative reporter with a knack for getting himself in trouble by asking powerful people the wrong questions. The war on planet Cybertron has tilted in favor of the Decepticons, and Autobot leader Optimus Prime, aware of the need to abandon Cybertron, sends B-127 to Earth to prep the planet as a staging area for the next step in the robots' civil war. His fiancée Anne Weying (Williams) is a lawyer currently defending the Life Corporation, a company whose Elon Musk-like CEO, Carlton Drake (Ahmed, looking unwontedly boyish), has set for himself the goal of rescuing humanity. The one problem is that the Decepticons must not learn that any Autobots are coming to Earth: such information would mean the end of the Autobots and, very likely, the end of all human life. What the public doesn't realize is that Drake is hoping to unite humanity with an alien species that will allow humans to leave Earth and survive in outer space as symbiotic host-parasite pairings. But some Decepticons are already in the area; one of them—Blitzwing—ambushes B-127 on Earth, ripping out his voice modulator and crashing his memory core before B-127 manages to destroy Blitzwing.
ReplyDeleteThat is gold right there, my friend, gold!
ReplyDeleteAnd, yes, I think the farm explanation is kind of a pancultural thing, although sometimes the Korean explanation is more direct. I must have told you the story about how HJ went off to Europe one summer and came back to find her tiny little dog gone. When she asked her mother where he was, her mother began to cry: "He got sick, so your uncles ate him." It still boggles my mind.