comma usage: an aside

[NB: this post isn't part of the series on commas that I'm writing, but you can think of it as a tie-in, a spinoff, or whatever.]

Two quick case studies. First, from John Mac's blog:

Yeah, I’m sure the bridge was plenty sturdy, for me, it’s a question of balance...

Next, from a comment on Instapundit:

Don't cower on the sidelines, take the field, play the ball HARD and risk incurring the foul.

The trouble, in both cases, is that commas have been recruited to do the work that other punctuation marks are supposed to do. In the first example above, the "for me" surrounded by commas is in an ambiguous position. I can read the sentence two very different ways:

1. Yeah, I'm sure the bridge was plenty sturdy for me. It's a question of balance.
2. Yeah, I'm sure the bridge was plenty sturdy. For me[, though,] it's a question of balance.

I'd say that (2) is a plausible rewrite that captures the spirit of the original comment, but because we're separating two independent clauses, another option is a semicolon:

Yeah, I'm sure the bridge was plenty sturdy; for me[, though,] it's a question of balance.

As for the second example ("sidelines"), the over-comma-ing of the sentence also causes ambiguity. As it is, it sounds as if the writer is telling the reader not to do four things:

Don't
• cower on the sidelines,
• take the field,
• play the ball, and
• risk incurring the foul.

By using the same punctuation—commas—the guy is accidentally creating a list of equivalent items, all falling under the umbrella of the negative imperative Don't. To make the items non-equivalent, to separate the dos from the don'ts in what is supposed to be a hortatory (i.e., exhorting, demanding) sentence, you need to break the sentence up and use different punctuation. My rewrite would use the dramatic em dash:

Don't cower on the sidelines—take the field! Play the ball hard and risk incurring the foul!*

That sounds more like how a coach would talk. But if you wanted to go even more dramatically Shatnerian (not recommended, by the way):

Don't cower on the sidelines! Take the field! Play the ball hard! And risk incurring the foul!

Sprinkling too many commas throughout your sentences can create unnecessary ambiguity and even deaden the passionate tone you're striving for. But judicious use of punctuation can make your prose more lively, causing it to leap off the page and straight into the reader's head. Punctuation has an impact, so use it wisely.**

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*When it comes to "em-dashed" speech, I think of General Chang in "Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country," when he quotes Khrushchev and says to Kirk during the Klingon drumhead trial, "Don't wait for the translation—answer me now!"

**Granted: if you don't understand how punctuation works, then poor punctuation will have no impact on you because you're already unable to distinguish good from poor punctuation. What a boring life you must lead, utterly lacking in nuance and subtlety!