why East Asia needs proofreaders

This was belatedly making the rounds in my office the week before:

Is this real Engrish or fake Engrish?  No idea.  I do know that "There Lurks the Skid Demon" has become a tee-shirt design.  And, ladies?  Always remember to tootel your man with vigor.  He'll thank you later, possibly by vigorously tooteling you back... if he's a real man, that is.  Only pussies refuse to tootel their women by word of mouth.  Hi, Hi.

If we assume this is real Engrish, then you can see why East Asia has a serious problem and desperately needs proofreaders and editors.  I'll leave it up to you to hit my comments section and improve the English of the above instructions.  Good luck.  No, seriously:  good luck.