I was reading a BBC article about the divorce of Bill and Melinda Gates when I came across this hilariously awful sentence about their charitable foundation:
The organisation has spent billions fighting causes such as infectious diseases and encouraging vaccinations in children.
While I love the idea that the Gates's foundation is actively fighting the vaccination of children, I can understand the writer's true intentions.
So! How to improve this sentence? Take a crack at it in the comments, and while you're there, ponder the desperate need for proofreaders in more places than just South Korea.
ADDENDUM: Jeff Hodges has found an arguably funnier gaffe.
I would change "fighting" to "supporting" and put the word fighting in front of "infectious diseases."
ReplyDeleteMy own take would be:
ReplyDeleteThe organisation has spent billions fighting infectious diseases and encouraging vaccinations in children.
The "such as" is a huge problem because of the ambiguity it introduces.