one thing I'm now dealing with

Sad but true:

Saggy ass. It comes with rapid weight loss. I begin my fifty-third year on this planet with a dilemma caused by the Newcastle Diet: how to deal with a saggy ass.

I'm going to look into how to give my ass a bit more lift and life, although I know I'll never attain the heights of Jean-Claude Van Damme in his prime:

It would nevertheless be nice if, by this time next year, I've figured out some way to get things—as they say in the military—high and tight:

But I don't want to overdo it and end up with Kardashian ass:

Something that's just a little more filled out than what I've got would do nicely, I think. The big question, though, is whether I should scare my readership with before/after pics. Yeah... try to un-think that thought. You're welcome.