I recently learned that FOMO (fear of missing out) has an opposite: FOBI (fear of being involved/invited/etc.). I don't suffer from FOMO, but as an introvert, I probably do suffer from some degree of FOBI. I'm not a fan of big events unless I'm the one running the show (as when I cater lunch to twenty-five people). Crowds and noise are not for me; I'm more an appreciator of quiet, natural scenery—peace, tranquility, and all that jazz. Concerts, parties, and noisy restaurants and bars just leave me feeling FOBIc. No, thanks.
So how about you? FOMO, FOBI or some idiosyncratic combination?
FOMO is a product of social media. I'm not saying that some people were not afraid of missing out on certain things before then, but FOMO as a social phenomenon was definitely not a thing before social media. Think of all the things that people have FOMO about. It's not things that are actually important, like living a contented, fulfilling life, or achieving something meaningful. No, it's pointless stuff that looks great on social media but is not nearly as enjoyable when you are actually there.
ReplyDeleteDon't get me wrong--I love going places, doing things, experiencing stuff, etc. But never once have I feared that other people might be having more fun than me (which is what people are really feeling when they say they have "FOMO"). That probably has something to do with the fact that I won't touch social media with a ten-foot pole.
Your comment prompted me to visit Wikipedia to see what it had to say about FOMO, and the article confirmed my own feeling that FOMO was indeed a thing before social media—just not as intense of a thing. I mean, to some extent, you can trace the phenomenon all the way back to something as simple and ancient as envy.
ReplyDeleteThat said, I'd still submit that, whatever my current regrets and dissatisfactions, I'm content enough not to experience FOMO or whatever you want to call it. I sometimes do feel a twinge of—how shall I put this—counterfactual nostalgia for not having lived certain parallel lives, but all in all, I'm not unhappy with where I am. Things could be better, for sure, but that's more about looking toward the future than about envying other people in the here and now.