Headline (Genesius Times):
BREAKING: Pentagon hires Sam Bankman-Fried after proving he can lose money as fast as anyone
US—The Department of Defense has hired embattled cryptocurrency Ponzi schemer Sam Bankman-Fried after he lost $16 billion overnight.
“We saw the headline and thought, wow, losing $16 billion in one day? That’s a DOD-esque number!” Secretary of Defense Lloyd Austin said in an exclusive interview with Genesius Times.
The Department of Defense recently reported that they couldn’t account for $2.6 trillion and look to bolster that number with new hire Bankman-Fried.
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