phone conversation

Tuesday. Earlier today. I saw my boss wasn't in. Much later in the day, he called me (around 6:30 p.m.). I was still in the office, and we talked. The boss sounded tired and slightly raspy, as if he were on the edge of a cold. He said he'd gotten very little sleep the night before; I can understand how he might be upset by the current situation. It's one thing to know vaguely that something sinister is going to happen at some point in the future; it's another thing to be standing there when the rug gets yanked out from under your feet. Boom: you've lost your team and your department—and you're out of here, too! Merry Christmas!

The boss is still waiting to talk with our CEO about the current situation. It sounds as if he (the boss) is holding out hope for a Christmas miracle, but my thinking is that, if we're at the point where we're physically moving our shit to different offices (I'm gathering cardboard boxes tomorrow), then it's over. Our R&D team is toast, and it's time to move on. From the company's point of view, there's no consideration of what a bother it is for us to move to our new teams, but if the CEO were belatedly to put a stop to this, to reverse what's happening, the company would consider the bother of moving us back to our original location, not least because that would signify that someone high up had to give in to pressure from below. Not good for reasons of "face." So I have no hope that anything's going to change. 

Mentally, I'm already out the door. I just have to endure a month with a different team, probably doing random shit that won't amount to anything—like proofreading a bunch of workbook material—and then I'm outtie, as they used to say.

Honestly, I don't know what my boss is hoping for. Then again, this whole Sword of Damocles bullshit is something our CEO likes to engage in every year or two. Who knows? Maybe we'll be all boxed up and ready to leave when the call will come in saying we've got a one-year lease on life, yet another chance to "prove our worth" as a team and a department—all bullshit I've heard before. The fact that this never changes is just more motivation for me to escape the samsaric wheel. But we'll see, I guess. Maybe the boss will pull a miracle out of his ass. I'm past caring at this point, and all that's left is morbid curiosity. Working for a company this capricious gets tiring after seven years.