The big news appears to be that Joe Biden just ordered a bacon burger for a very staged photo op. I wrote the following dialogue in honor of this historic moment.
A: Velcome to McKumar's. May I dake your order, please?B: Yeah, I'd like a bacon burger.
A: I'm sorry, sir, but McKumar's is both Hindu and halal.
B: Oh, all right. Then gimme a McCornpop. Heavy on the leg hair.
A: For an extra 50 cents, you also get a chain.
B: Does it come dripping in bacon fat?
A: I'm sorry, sir, but McKumar's is both—
B: (sigh) Spandau and anal, yeah, I heard you the first time. Fine, gimme the chain.
A: Ve can trow in a ten-year-old girl from the Mumbai slums if you vant.
B: Can't. Trunk's already too full. Sniff.
A: Anyting else I can get you?
B: Not unless you got any elefagziladies. Those were good back in the day.
A: Okay. That'll be $20.50 plus dax.
B: Shit. My wallet's up my ass again. Kamala, can you—?
C: Good thing I brought the long tongs this time.
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