Commas, Part 4

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

Part 4 of our series on commas deals with marking or separating items on a list. Let me signal right now that I'm very pro-Oxford when it comes to Oxford commas. The Brits generally are not, despite the name "Oxford." Now that you know my bias, let's move on to the lesson, which will include—as you'll see below—an explanation of Oxford commas.

When we list items off in writing, we separate the items with commas:

Ingredients: flour, sugar, water, eggs, vanilla

The above is a brute list, but we also list things off in sentence/prose form, and in that situation, when we reach the end of the list, we mark the final item off by using an "and." But do we use a comma right before the "and" or not?

We need flour, sugar, water, eggs, and vanilla. (comma before "and")
We need flour, sugar, water, eggs and vanilla. (no comma before "and")

The comma just before that final "and" is the aforementioned Oxford comma. While there's some debate over whether the Oxford comma is necessary when writing lists, the general consensus seems increasingly to be that with or without is okay. However, the pedant/curmudgeon set will argue—and I wholeheartedly agree with this argument—that including the Oxford comma eliminates certain ambiguities. Here's an example:

(1) I'd like to thank my parents, God and Satan.
(2) I'd like to thank my parents, God, and Satan.

In (1) above, there's no Oxford comma, and you might read the sentence as saying that God and Satan are my parents, as if the phrase "God and Satan" were an appositive modifying "parents." That's probably not what the writer intended, so to eliminate the ambiguity, the writer should use an Oxford comma, as we see in (2) above.

(NB: I've written about Oxford commas before.)

Since we're talking about list items, though, we also have to mention semicolons. Again, I've written about this elsewhere, but let's go over one specific aspect of semicolons when it comes to lists:

If your list items already have commas, then use semicolons as "super-commas."

Let's say you're inviting the following people to a party:
· Leslie, the town slut
· Bob, the village idiot
· Ted, of "Vaseline chicken" fame
· Big Maria, Ted's wife

Each of the above list items has a comma in it, so to write out the list, you need to use semicolons to separate the items, like so:

I'm inviting Leslie, the town slut; Bob, the village idiot; Ted, of "Vaseline chicken" fame; and Big Maria, Ted's wife.

Conclusion: we use commas to mark or separate list items. The Oxford comma is arguably useful, and I'd submit that it's better to include it than to leave it out. Finally, we use semicolons as a kind of "super-comma" when our list items already have commas in them.

Ready for a quiz?

QUIZ
Insert commas and/or semicolons as needed in the sentences below. For some sentences, more than one answer may be possible depending on how the sentence is interpreted. Check your answers by highlighting the hidden text between the brackets at the end of the quiz.

1. During the safari, we saw giraffes elephants and a sac-like animal called a sqo'ro'toom.
2. The Ingwatu demon comes at night to feast upon your eyes which you use to see the world your soul which houses your life and mind and your hot younger sister who happens to have a nice, round, firm ass.
3. "Spectacles testicles wallet watch," barked Santa before he mounted the sleigh.
4. Over the years, I've owned (or was it fucked?) a dachshund a falcon a lynx and a retard.
5. For our team, we're picking Mike Mike's wife Maggot Merlin the wizard and Fido.

[ANSWERS:
1. During the safari, we saw giraffes, elephants, and a sac-like animal called a sqo'ro'toom.
(Oxford comma optional but recommended.)
2. The Ingwatu demon comes at night to feast upon your eyes, which you use to see the world; your soul, which houses your life and mind; and your hot younger sister, who happens to have a nice, round, firm ass.
3. "Spectacles, testicles, wallet, watch," barked Santa before he mounted the sleigh.
(Note that what Santa calls out is a brute list with no "and," so use commas for ALL items.)
4. Over the years, I've owned (or was it fucked?) a dachshund, a falcon, a lynx, and a retard.
(Oxford comma optional but recommended.)
5. NB: for Sentence 5, many answers are possible. Here are some, each with a different nuance:
For our team, we're picking Mike, Mike's wife Maggot, Merlin the wizard, and Fido.
For our team, we're picking Mike, Mike's wife, Maggot, Merlin, the wizard, and Fido.
For our team, we're picking Mike, Mike's wife Maggot, Merlin, the wizard, and Fido.
For our team, we're picking Mike, Mike's wife, Maggot, Merlin the wizard, and Fido.
For our team, we're picking Mike, Mike's wife Maggot, Merlin, the wizard and Fido.]