the turkey poem

it knew this day was coming
it waited up all night
the turkey wouldn't take this crap
it knew it had to fight

it saw the farmer walking
across the muddy ground
the turkey started growling
and frothing like a hound

the farmer, he was ready
he had a mess of tools
he gave the bird a leering grin
--it bit his family jewels

the farmer started howling
he grabbed his lucky axe
without a second thought he gave
his crotch about ten whacks

the turkey grinned in triumph
each time the axe would fall
the turkey, biting, dodged and leaped--
the farmer minced his balls

and now you know the story
the true and awful tale
a turkey lived to see the day
a man ceased to be male

In honor of martyred turkeys everywhere. Happy Thanksgiving.
_