I could still croak at any moment given my precarious health, but the fact remains that, after some small amount of patience and practice,
I HAVE GAINED A SUPERPOWER!
[cue angels farting wreckage-strewn tornadoes, blue whales exploding spectacularly, electric guitar-shredding kangaroos heralding the apocalypse with stridently satanic 'roo shanties, skyscraper-sized elephants raining down megatons of feces upon the frightened residents of some native village, fleets of serene-looking ghosts sexually violating house cats, mobs of prognathous giants bellowing inarticulately while whipping their anaconda-sized dicks about in a retarded symphony of snaps and crashes and pubic-hair dandruff]
What superpower did I gain?
Oh, that.
I can now use my Samsung phone as a wireless remote control to operate my PowerPoint files. And all it took was to find my laptop, partially recharge it, download the same remote-control app onto both my cell phone and my laptop, figure out how to sync the two devices up via Bluetooth (which is way, way more useful than I ever gave it credit for*), then spend some time playing around with a PowerPoint file to see how easy it would be to control this way.
After a few stumbles, it was easy. Easy peasy. Much better than being carpet-bombed by a truckload of clay-like elephant shit. I can't wait to find out how all of this can go wrong.
When I used to do my classes at KMA, the KMA staffers would always help me with my prep. They would lay out elegant-looking, in-binder photocopies of my eight-hour-long lesson packet at whatever conference table we would be using that day, then help me get my laptop wire-connected to the room's digital projector. They would also, as a "sugar on top" gesture, give me a PowerPoint remote control that could wirelessly connect with my laptop (or with the office's own laptop if my class files happened to be stored on it) and allow me to control my PowerPoint from a distance. It was great. And now, I don't need to depend on even that, which is one less thing for the crew to set up should I ever rejoin KMA.
One less thing to depend on equals more empowerment for me. One less crutch. Some people spend their lives helplessly flailing, clutching at others, hoping to be taken care of instead of learning how to function on their own. It's like looking at a ridiculous cripple—almost embarrassing. I remember how horrible my father was with computers. I'm pretty sure that one of the reasons he eventually retired from the Maryland Air National Guard was that he'd been placed in an office job where, all day long, he had to deal with those computer thingamajigs, and I've watched Dad with pity as he slowly and fearfully tapped out messages on computer keyboards, utterly unsure if he was doing anything right, the picture of incompetence sliding into irrelevance just because of a lazy refusal to sit down and learn. Don't be like my dad. Learn stuff. Keep learning stuff, even if you mess everything up the first few times. Don't become helpless and useless, a burden to others. Acquire superpowers. Yeah, I'm speaking to myself as well because lazy complacency is always a danger. Stay sharp.
__________
*I used to ignore Bluetooth features because, I felt, I had no use for Bluetooth, which never struck me as relevant. Then I bought my current iMac back in 2021 (it's a fresh-out-of-the-box 2019 model), and it had a Bluetooth wireless keyboard as well as a Bluetooth mouse. Now, wireless devices' most annoying feature is that they have to be routinely recharged, and my mouse runs out a lot faster than my keyboard does, especially these days. Otherwise, the wirelessness has pampered me: There's so much less clutter. So my iMac was my gateway drug. That same year (2021), I got a new phone—a Samsung Galaxy S21 to replace my old, beaten-up, 2014-era phone, bought when I was living in Hayang, next to Daegu. Only months later did I realize that the damn thing had no ports for earbuds: I would have to buy wireless earbuds. Years passed; I got the Bluetooth earbuds while in the States (they, too, need to be recharged, albeit not too often), and suddenly, I was able to in an airport or a coffee shop or a hospital waiting area and watch YouTube videos without disturbing anyone else with my videos' noise. And now, here are again—Bluetooth to the rescue as I connect my laptop and phone so I can control my laptop's PowerPoints remotely. Nice. And all it took was some patience and effort. Yeah, I know I'm way happier about this than I should be, but it's another thing off my checklist.
✓ a selfie
✓ scans of school transcripts (undergrad & grad)
✓ a copy of my passport (2 pages)
✓ a scanned copy of my alien-residence card (2 sides)
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