I ran a red light yesterday. Didn't realize I was doing this until I was about three-quarters of the way through the intersection. This happened on Route 234 to Manassas; most of the traffic lights didn't have cameras on them, but I'm worried that the light I ran did. So I'm expecting a certain piece of correspondence from the local authorities within a week. We'll see.
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Saturday, June 30, 2012
expecting some mail
Thursday, June 28, 2012
the legacy of Monica Seles, sexual squealer
A CBS affiliate website carries an (un?)intentionally humorous article on feminine grunting during tennis matches. The WTA (Women's Tennis Association) is planning to crack down on all the noise.
A plan to crack down on ultra-loud grunting in women’s tennis has been “unanimously green-lighted” by the WTA players’ council, representatives from all four majors and the International Tennis Federation, according to USA Today.
“It’s time for us to drive excessive grunting out of the game for future generations,” WTA CEO Stacey Allaster told the publication.
Umpires would use a handheld device to measure the on-court sound and rule whether it exceeds a to-be-determined acceptable level, USA Today reported.
But there’s a catch. The current generation of screamers – like Maria Sharapova and Victoria Azarenka – would get a pass. The plan also wouldn’t apply to the men’s game.
I think the sex yelps add to the women's game. Already made enjoyable by those lovely miniskirts, tight, powerful asses, and vibrating thighs, women's tennis only benefits from the lovelorn cries of women giving it their all-- on camera and in front of thousands, no less. I already watch women's tennis in a state of semi-arousal, and have often thought about recording the yelps, overlaying them on a sex soundtrack, and spacing them out in more sexually realistic intervals (say, one yelp/grunt-- grelp?-- per second). Given the stadium reverb that accompanies the women's passionate cries, I suspect the sex track would also need echo effects added to it-- perhaps along with some sonorous Bach pipe organ (pipe organ: a Freudian phrase if ever there was one) music to get us all in the proper mood.
Someone needs to tell the WTA to halt this madness. By God, let the women grunt!
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Wednesday, June 27, 2012
go thou and read
Bill Keezer has been discussing-- and often deconstructing-- The Christian Delusion on his blog. Go have a look-see. His most recent post (with links to previous posts) is here.
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Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Monday, June 25, 2012
the real Yu Gi Oh
June 25 marks the anniversary of the start of the Korean War (June 25, 1950). It's a solemn day on the peninsula. Robert Koehler links to a piece about the beginning of the war here.
Trivia: the goofy Japanese manga/card game Yu Gi Oh is pronounced the same way that Koreans say the date of June 25th: "six-two-five" is "yugio" (yuk + ee + oh = 6 + 2 + 5).
The peninsula remains in a state of war: there is no peace treaty-- only an armistice that is violated regularly by the North, which fires shots randomly across the DMZ and perpetrates over 300 submarine incursions per year (almost one per day).
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Sunday, June 24, 2012
improv dog food
As you know I'm house-sitting for my buddy Mike and his family. Mike has a lovely old, gray-muzzled dog named Maia, half whippet and half black Labrador. Maia's large-- so large that she makes the floorboards creak when she crosses the floor. A big dog is a big eater; keeping Maia's food bowl full is no minor task.
Unfortunately, I have no idea where Mike keeps his dog food,* so today I winged it: since one of Mike's freezers is stocked full of 1.5-pound rolls of ground meat, I whipped up a concoction of ground beef and canned peas for the dog (peas are fine for dogs: see here). Maia scarfed (wolfed) this down in its entirety within five minutes: she loved it. In fact, I'd say she loved it a hell of a lot more than she loves her regular dog food: her original bowl of regular food took a full day to empty. I had thought this was fast; it was easy to imagine myself taking a whole day to eat a two-pound bag of potato chips. But two pounds of food in five minutes? Incredible. Maia needs to star in her own version of "Man Versus Food." Maybe we'll call it "Man's Best Friend Versus Food."
Now that I know that Maia is a fan of my cooking, I'll have to serve her smaller portions. I don't want her bingeing and purging, after all.
*Mike is on a cruise ship heading to warmer climes, and so is hors de contact for the moment.
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the spectrum of women
From the sublime:
73-year-old woman climbs Mount Everest
To the ridiculous:
Woman Super-glued to Toilet Seat
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Saturday, June 23, 2012
eating them out of house and home
I'm dog- and house-sitting for my buddy Mike and his family, residing in comfort at Mike's palatial Villainschloß, that hub of dire machinations and gleeful dwarf-beating. I'll be here until next Thursday, the 28th. This is a weird moment of transition for me, as my job at YB will be switching over to the summer schedule starting this coming Monday. This means going from a 3:30-9:30PM schedule to an 11AM-7PM schedule. Making that switchover while dog-sitting is going to feel bizarre. Luckily, one factor eases the transition: I won't be working Saturdays anymore-- at least not during the summer session. Hooray! That change begins tomorrow: I'm off like a drunkard's condom, baby!
In the meantime, I've been told that I have the run of the house, so I plan to do my worst and eat my friend out of house and home. YEAH!
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Friday, June 22, 2012
at the TEF blog
I link to a L'Express article that discusses an 11-country survey about preferred sexual positions and other sexual tendencies and preferences.
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Thursday, June 21, 2012
sacred and profane
At the TEF blog, I talk about a theological short story by SF writer Greg Bear.
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Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
obsession
Someone is obsessed with this blog. Last night, this person was reading and reading, and I noticed that s/he had racked up over 120 minutes on SiteMeter. Today, I assume that that same obsessed reader is back, and s/he has racked up over 302 minutes. Should I be flattered or worried? Such obsession is great for my "average reading time" statistic: I've gone from under a minute to nearly two minutes.
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Monday, June 18, 2012
Sunday, June 17, 2012
what's long and hard and full of semen?
Here's one not for the squeamish, from South Korea: A semi-cooked squid inseminated a woman's mouth, according to a paper published in the Journal of Parasitology. After experiencing "severe pain in her oral cavity" when she bit into her seafood, the woman spit out her meal but continued to feel a lingering "pricking" sensation.
Doctors found that the 63-year-old woman had "small, white spindle-shaped bug-like organisms" lodged in the mucous membrane of her tongue, cheek and gums.
Despite having been boiled, the dead squid's live spermatophores, or sperm sacks, were alive and penetrated the woman's mouth. The sacks, which contain ejaculatory devices, forcefully release sperm and a "cement" that attaches the sperm to a wall.
"Prick"ing sensation. Heh. Trust Korea to deliver the weird, fucked-up news.
"I'll have the cumshot special, please."
It's said that people become more sexually active after they've been exposed to life-threatening situations (such as 9/11). This demonstrates the close linkage of eros and thanatos, I think: the urge to reproduce in the face of death. They say a man becomes erect and even ejaculates when strangling, hence the clandestine popularity of auto-erotic asphyxiation (all hail the Carradine!). Are our molluscan brethren any different, really? By shooting its juice into a woman's mouth, was this dying squid doing anything a dying guy wouldn't have done?
(Link courtesy of my buddy Tom.)
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Saturday, June 16, 2012
birthday tribute
To my buddy Mike, who turns a mighty, prime-numbered 43 today:
First, we bring out the "hip"-notic dancing girls (nnnnoooot exactly safe for work).
Next, we have a poetry recitation by a famous actor.
Third item on the program: a musical performance by Brit/Aussie musical comedian Tim Minchin.
Fourth up: an Eddie Izzard classic-- the Death Star canteen.
Finally, two "found" items from the Internet:
(Both of the above pics found at the Internet Hugbox.)
Happy forty-third, man. I'll be following you over the cliff at the end of August.
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