Thursday, June 28, 2012

the legacy of Monica Seles, sexual squealer

A CBS affiliate website carries an (un?)intentionally humorous article on feminine grunting during tennis matches. The WTA (Women's Tennis Association) is planning to crack down on all the noise.

A plan to crack down on ultra-loud grunting in women’s tennis has been “unanimously green-lighted” by the WTA players’ council, representatives from all four majors and the International Tennis Federation, according to USA Today.

“It’s time for us to drive excessive grunting out of the game for future generations,” WTA CEO Stacey Allaster told the publication.

Umpires would use a handheld device to measure the on-court sound and rule whether it exceeds a to-be-determined acceptable level, USA Today reported.

But there’s a catch. The current generation of screamers – like Maria Sharapova and Victoria Azarenka – would get a pass. The plan also wouldn’t apply to the men’s game.

I think the sex yelps add to the women's game. Already made enjoyable by those lovely miniskirts, tight, powerful asses, and vibrating thighs, women's tennis only benefits from the lovelorn cries of women giving it their all-- on camera and in front of thousands, no less. I already watch women's tennis in a state of semi-arousal, and have often thought about recording the yelps, overlaying them on a sex soundtrack, and spacing them out in more sexually realistic intervals (say, one yelp/grunt-- grelp?-- per second). Given the stadium reverb that accompanies the women's passionate cries, I suspect the sex track would also need echo effects added to it-- perhaps along with some sonorous Bach pipe organ (pipe organ: a Freudian phrase if ever there was one) music to get us all in the proper mood.

Someone needs to tell the WTA to halt this madness. By God, let the women grunt!


1 comment:

Horace Jeffery Hodges said...

They wanna "crack down"? That cracks me up!

I mean, why should pigs hog all the grunting?

Jeffery Hodges

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