Thursday, December 31, 2020

our dicks are what get us into trouble

Bill Burr gives sage advice to a horny 23-year-old guy who has been flirting with a coworker in his office.  This coworker—not beautiful, but charming and passably cute—seriously wants to bang the young man, but she's also got a boyfriend she claims to love, and she says she and her beau plan to move in together and eventually get married.  Burr's wisdom on how our dicks are what get us into trouble is priceless.

My own advice to the kid wouldn't be all that different from Burr's.  Avoid complications by avoiding sex with this chick.  This is a trap; she's obviously not in love with her beau if she's contemplating sex with you, and if you were thinking with your brain and not your dick, you'd immediately recognize all that.  Most sane guys would.  But some of us can't control our urges, so we waste precious time and life not learning from our mistakes.  Karma, of course, doesn't give a fuck whether you learn from your mistakes.  Karma is, as they say, a bitch, and with good reason.  If you repeatedly stick your hand in a flame and don't learn anything from that experience, don't sit around wondering why life keeps treating you so badly, genius.  I have some indiscretions from my past that I'd love to undo if I had the chance (and no, I won't ever talk about them here), and I imagine that, if you're a man who still has a dick and balls, you've got some indiscretions you regret, too.


John Mac said...

You talking about me? It did have a familiar ring. *ahem*

I think the connection to work is one of the more troubling aspects of this situation--makes it hard to escape when the inevitable explosion occurs.

It's kinda funny though--looking at this from a distance it all seems so obvious. With my boots on the ground though I suddenly go blind. Go figure.

Kevin Kim said...

I guess I'm talking to you in the sense that I'm talking to my fellow men in general. I witnessed plenty of dick-driven soap operas back in college. It could be, though, that some of us (cough) never progress beyond college-era soap operas.

Daniel said...

Definitely guilty as charged!