It's a much-talked-about subject in South Korea, and everyone here is aware of it, but despite the fact that a huge demographic tsunami is coming, South Koreans are seemingly content not to have babies despite a birth rate of 0.78 (less than one kid per couple). Commenter John from Daejeon pointed me to the following video that discusses the problem:
So why am I not out there doing my part to increase the population?
I can't speak for other Koreans, but I myself am enough of an introvert that I don't feel an emptiness in my soul due to the lack of a companion. I'm open to the possibility of finding someone, but I'm not going out of my way to do so, nor am I experiencing any increasing desperation the older I get. My two brothers seem to be in a similar boat: my brother David got divorced and says he has no plans ever to remarry (it was a bitter divorce), and my brother Sean, being gay, isn't in a relationship where he can expect to have children (am I even allowed to say that these days?), so our branch of the family line ends with us. As for me, well, the last time I did anything approaching dating was in 2016, and that ended with a quiet whimper. I'm not needy, and I'm pretty self-sufficient. Sure, a woman could come along and poke all sorts of holes in my lifestyle, but I've survived this long on my own, and if she's going to be a constantly critical bitch, then she's out on her ass. Life is too short for carping.
Some people have that bone-deep need for companionship; I'm just not one of them. Part of it, too, could be that I cherish my own freedom too much. Maybe that makes me a selfish bastard, but I do think that living life on someone else's schedule might be too confining for me. Mom warned me about this long ago: "Find someone while you're young," she said. "When you're old, you'll be set in your ways, and you won't know how to compromise." That last part needs to be taken with a grain of salt, though, I think: when a woman says "compromise," she really means "let me have my way." I saw it with my parents, and any number of stand-up comedians can confirm this. I've quietly observed the dynamic in some couples I know, too. No, thanks. If we're going to compromise, we're going to compromise. None of this winner-takes-all bullshit. See? I'm too set in my ways. Watch out, ladies.
It is true that it is easier to figure out how to live with someone else if you meet them at a younger age. You're looking at it from the perspective of someone who has been single for a long time; were I in that position, I would see compromise as an inconvenience (at best) as well. But I don't know if HJ and I have ever "compromised" in the way that a lot of people mean that. You just figure out how the other person works, figure out how you work, and then figure out how you work together. Maybe that's technically "compromise," but to me it feels more just like "getting along."
ReplyDeleteAnyway, wasn't this a post about the population crisis? I realize that from where you are finding a companion is a prerequisite to popping out babies, but the one does not necessarily lead to the other.
This was a post about the population crisis that became a meditation on why I personally am not out there helping to replace the population.
ReplyDeletebut the one does not necessarily lead to the other.
ReplyDeleteYou can pop out babies without a companion? Parthenogenesis!
(Yes, I understood what you actually meant.)