Bats vs. the Joker

images

Add two commas.

Points to Chad for good use of the vocative comma, but his second comma is arguable.

Sara: don't use a singular they. (OK, fine: there are scholarly arguments in favor of the singular they.)

I'd need to check the stats on this one.

Anything can be a dildo if you're brave enough. —Abraham Lincoln

It really is a dilemma when your IQ's at a certain level.

A yo-yo joke is on the tip of my tongue.

As I said: I fucking hate opossums.

Add a comma. And a period up top.

I fact-checked this one myself. Horrific.

Great until you flubbed the period.

That seems to be how it is in the UK these days. Here's hoping Nigel can change things.

That's racist!

Take all of that away, and what happens?

Vocative comma.

"Arkham Asylum"

Wednesday's stroll

Wednesday saw me back at Mile 24, Elkwallow, but this time, I walked to Mile 27 and back, a full six miles (9.6 km). The day was cloudy, cool, and windy, so it's good I wore my windbreaker. I didn't take pics of the mile markers on the way to 27, but I took pics on the way back. As I was driving to Mile 24, I saw another pair of intrepid walkers, all backpacked up and striding along with conviction—further inspiration to try this route one day. 

sign in a picnic-ground restroom; never seen one like it in Korea

When I went back to my hotel, I made the fatal mistake of visiting the Mexican restaurant attached to the hotel. Everything on the menu was carbs. I ordered a chicken-taco appetizer and a beef birria-taco main, but only the main came out because the lady who had taken my order didn't understand what I'd wanted. When I reviewed what I'd ordered, she was mortified and apologetic, but I told her that it was fine, and I'd pay only for what I'd been charged for, which was the main course. She tried offering other entrees and even dessert, but I told her that that was fine. Truth be told, I was a bit miffed, but there was no reason to take any frustration out on the poor woman, for whom English was obviously a struggle. The birria tacos came out with the standard consommé, but the two shells hadn't been pan-fried in birria sauce. Since I'm out of here on Friday, it's safe to say that I won't be back.

I'll be fasting all of Thursday and most of Friday, but I understand that Mike's wife and my goddaughter want to fix me dinner Friday evening. I'm looking forward to that.

remember the hawk-tuah girl?

2/8: She got into BitCoin trouble, and people are mad. Stay away from BitCoin until all of this shakes out. It hasn't yet.

ow

I pretty much guarantee that you will hurt after watching this.

motley crew

For real 🤣 pic.twitter.com/6xFqwfsFiE

— Clown World ™ 🤡 (@ClownWorld_) March 6, 2025

future English will sound nothing like today's English

With English evolving this rapidly, by the time we hit the Star Trek era for real (23rd/24th century), people won't be speaking in a way that any of us alive today would ever recognize.

Of course, some of the above parlance isn't so much organically evolved slang as it is clever evasions of YouTube algorithms. If you were to say "killed," for example, the algorithm might censor your video (for the kids!). Hence "unalived." Or if you were to say "raped," that might have to be changed to "assaulted" or "graped" to avoid the algorithm. But three hundred years of this rapid evolution will make future English utterly incomprehensible.

Good thing I'll be dead by then.

images

More karma, please.

a painful McCrarey pun

Watch the whiners.

I'fact, i' tastes leyk sheyte!

Comma, apostrophe problem (why?), comma, singular/plural problem, comma.

Where does the comma go?

Exactly. Pointing out malfeasance is one thing; making arrests that stick is another.

That was a mistake, Dan.

Where does the hyphen go? Why?

Where does the hyphen go? Why?

We can't seem to leave this joke alone.

Oh, no! The Uno Reverse!

Remove one comma.

currently watching "The Expanse"

Along with a few other upcoming reviews, I'll be reviewing all 60-some episodes of "The Expanse," likely when I'm back in Seoul. Without elaborating, I can already say this: all the raves about how the show's spatial physics are "so accurate"—well, they're all bullshit, and you don't even need to be a scientist to figure that out.

from famine to feast

My blog stats dipped under 1000 for the first time in a long time yesterday as the visits continue to do their usual beginning-of-spring shrivel. But today, the stats are already at 25,000 visits, and there are several hours to go. (The blog is still on Seoul time, and every 24-hour period ends, bizarrely, at 9 a.m.)

ululate!

Actor Val Kilmer, who had his heyday in the 80s and 90s, is dead at age 65. He had a good returning role as Iceman in "Top Gun: Maverick," but I probably remember him best for his comic roles in "Real Genius" and "Top Secret." I never saw his take on Jim Morrison in "The Doors," nor have I seen his Doc Holliday in "Tombstone" (but that movie is on my queue). Kilmer had a reputation for being difficult to work with, but from "Top Gun" to "Heat," he repeatedly showed himself to be a talented actor. RIP.

the left is mentally ill

Forget the question of whether trans people are mentally ill. What about the left?

WHAT!?

Disgraced Deep State Cover-Up Artist and head of the FBI New York Office James Dennehy just threw himself a PARADE outside the FBI building after being FIRED by Trump

These people are egomaniacal sociopaths in need of clinical help

Good riddance!pic.twitter.com/1AGdtBLfoR

— Benny Johnson (@bennyjohnson) March 7, 2025

Are you allergic to periods, Benny?

Link Lauren on the Super Bowl

Before this gets too stale:

feel free to disagree... I don't care

Best sign ever. https://t.co/rOKzxSt9sY

— Catturd ™ (@catturd2) April 1, 2025

The sign is, however, missing a comma.

the most obnoxious breakfast "sandwich" you'll ever see

This must be seen to be believed. Only in America, right? As I watched, I couldn't help thinking, at the end, that if you're going to pour maple syrup all over that thing, the meat should be sausage, not steak. The flavor profile's all wrong.

a cooler walk

somewhere between Mile 24 and Mile 26 on Skyline Drive

Mile 24 on Skyline Drive is the Elkwallow lot, store, and picnic ground. I left my rental at the Mile 24 parking lot and walked to Mile 26 and back. It was a bright, cool day with a high of 60ºF/15.6ºC. The walk itself wasn't too bad; it began with a downhill that I thought would exact a price on the way back, but the eventual uphill turned out not to be that hard. Since it's a weekday, the traffic again wasn't that bad, so I didn't do too much car-dodging. I did, however, need to wear my jacket: 60ºF on a windless day is short-sleeve weather, but in the mountains at that time of day (late morning/early afternoon), it was in the 40s (5-9ºC) and breezy—too cold for me to go minimal. So I had my jacket on. It was a bright, clear, happy day. I'd forgotten to bring along my portable WiFi hotspot, but I shrugged and, really, it didn't matter. More and more, though, I think a spring or fall walk along the entire length of the Drive is possible if I bring camping gear, a water filter (I have an old, early-edition Grayl and a LifeStraw), and enough dry food to last me for an 18-day walk. (I could eat every other day, thus needing only nine days' worth of food.) I haven't figured out the logistics of cell-phone recharge yet; solar when you're flanked by woods doesn't leave you with many options.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. Today's walk was even shorter than the other day's six-miler, being closer to four miles, but it was hilly enough to get my heart pumping (not overly, though). When I leave Manassas on Friday and install myself in my buddy Mike's house in Fredericksburg, I hope to do some longer walks. Mike knows some of the local routes, and I might end up doing some of them twice or even three times.

Actually, what I'm really hoping for is the arrival of my new driver's license—kinda the main reason I'm here. It's been weird to drive around with only a printed piece of paper from the Manassas DMV labeled "temporary permit," whose only real purpose is to have something to hand over to a police officer should I be caught speeding (I've been trying to behave myself on that score, but it's hard sometimes; Route 66 invites speed).

And while I'm partially on the subject of cars: I'm still not used to the button-start/stop function. I know these have been around for years, but it's my first time using one. The rental office gave me a key fob; the fob has buttons to lock/unlock the car, pop the trunk, etc., but you don't need keys to start the car: you press the brake and hit the "start" button. At the end of your drive, you don't even need to press the brake: just hit the button again, and the engine dies. I keep wanting to use the key for something. Cars strike me as more trouble than they're worth, but they're undeniably good to have when you need to go any long distance, and when you know the public-transportation scene is nearly nonexistent, as it is in most places outside of heavily urbanized America. Manassas has only one or two commuter-rail stops that I know of, but if I ever had to get to Front Royal via bus or rail, I'd be fucked (actually, not true—but look at the prices! so I'd still be fucked).

So today's walk was brief but a bit of an effort. I'll go back to the Drive tomorrow and do a different section, possibly a longer one, as my heart and lungs get used to the strain. Despite being so mountainous, Korea has a lot of flat bike paths, which is why I try to do stairs work to get my heart and lungs going. On the Drive, by contrast, I don't miss the stairs.

butterfly effect?

 

keyboard humor ("Dungeon Fighter" commercial)

I thought this was hilarious.

Turn on the closed captions and set them to "English" to see subtitles. But the commercial is still mostly understandable even without subtitles.

images

Clever (or painful) pun undermined by the lack of a period.

Oh, noes!

My two-year-old said this observation was trite yet profound.

I hope a lot of this has been found and corrected by now.

Don't over-capitalize. Don't over-capitalize.

Where does the comma go, Frank?

Priorities, man. Gotta report on what's important. The people need to know, y'know? (Ellipsis.)

Get it right: Cardi B, not Cardi-B. Also: capitalization, comma.

We're in the aftermath now. Still happy?

D'oh.

Fix the English.

Two commas needed.

I may have posted this one before. As I said last time: She's not the only one.

In my empire, they'd all be publicly and slowly executed.