Here's a scene from a British streaming TV series that went on for three seasons ("After Life") in which Ricky Gervais, whose character is an atheist, gets into a discussion with a religious person about whether belief in an afterlife determines one's behavior. Gervais's character sounds remarkably Zen Buddhist: it's life's impermanence that makes it beautiful. But at the same time, there's really nothing stopping, say, a Christian from believing the same thing despite also believing in an afterlife. It's precisely because we can't have these moments over again that we should live each moment wisely and deeply. Even if you're a Buddhist who subscribes to the doctrine of rebirth (samsara, the wheel of existence), you don't believe that the next life will be any sort of exact repetition. Because nothing ever repeats.
Thursday, September 25, 2025
6 comments:
READ THIS BEFORE COMMENTING!
All comments are subject to approval before they are published, so they will not appear immediately. Comments should be civil, relevant, and substantive. Anonymous comments are not allowed and will be unceremoniously deleted. For more on my comments policy, please see this entry on my other blog.
AND A NEW RULE (per this post): comments critical of Trump's lying must include criticism of Biden's or Kamala's or some prominent leftie's lying on a one-for-one basis! Failure to be balanced means your comment will not be published.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I've watched some of those Ricky Gervais episodes. He's pretty funny for a Brit. And yes, it is good advice. If I spend too much time imagining my "do-over life," I'll miss out on the best of what remains of the life I have. I really only think about the afterlife as a means of distracting my mind so I can fall asleep at night.
ReplyDeleteMy main worry is that you're using the prospect of a do-over life as a way to excuse yourself for fucking up now because you think you'll get another chance in the future (or the past, or whenever... none of which makes sense from a non-religious perspective: why would you think there was an afterlife, or life-after-life, at all?). According to your wishful thinking, why be good now when you can just try again later? Ethically speaking, that's pretty immoral and selfish: the very notion of getting a do-over life, in which you avoid or undo the consequences of your mistakes and misdeeds in this life, is self-centered: it's less about the world and all about yourself. You've even talked about how you'd make certain investments to get rich in such a life. If your vision of the next life doesn't go beyond enjoying its mortal fruits, then you really have learned nothing, morally speaking. The do-over life, your cosmic Mulligan, is a childish, spiritually unevolved notion of a life-after-life, like the kid hoping there are hot-dog stands in heaven. Better to assume you have only this one life (the only one you can be sure of) and live it wisely and well instead of repeatedly drowning your brain cells in stupidity juice.
DeleteAnd the metaphysics of such a life don't make sense. Who are the people inhabiting this alternate universe? Are they as real as you, also enjoying do-over lives at the same time as you? Have they been shanghaied and trapped inside your do-over cosmos? What could be more selfish than an entire cosmos built around you just so you can enjoy your do-over? Or are these people just illusory decorations as you live out your faux, alternate life in some weird pocket universe? And if you're porting over your "wisdom" from your previous life, does this mean you'll be born speaking adult English while you think your adult thoughts despite being a newborn? Will your infant body have to catch up with your octogenarian mind? (You should watch or rewatch the "Star Trek: The Next Generation" episode titled "Tapestry," in which Picard is given a chance by Q to do his life over. He makes choices, this time around, that reflect the cautious, mature wisdom he's acquired through experience... but the result is that he's no longer the captain of the Enterprise but is instead a lowly ensign who never moved up in the world because he was too afraid to be impetuous. In other words, do-over lives don't turn out the way we think they will. Previous "wisdom" isn't always a good thing.) And what if you have no real wisdom to port over from this life since you insist on making the same mistakes again and again and again? Your do-over life is going to suck and be a massive waste.
All this talk of a cosmic Mulligan fills me with pity. It feels like nothing so much as one long sigh of regret: "If only I had done this differently..." I think you had it right when you wrote, "If I spend too much time imagining my 'do-over life,' I'll miss out on the best of what remains of the life I have." That, at least, is a wise thought. As things are, you're missing out on life by constantly going to fucking bars. Imagine taking that value with you into your do-over life: that bars are great, and being a barfly is great. If that's truly the extent of your imagination for your do-over life, you really will be trapped in hell forever.
Thanks for this, Kevin. To begin, I know the likelihood of any kind of afterlife is slim to none. My fantasy of a do-over life is just that, and yes, the concept doesn't withstand scrutiny. That said, it is still nice to contemplate having the chance to relive a life that is inevitably drawing to a close.
ReplyDeleteBut just to set the record straight, I am enjoying the life I have and I'm living it to the best of my abilities. Yes, my lifestyle isn't for everyone, but it works for me. One of the things I gain in the "do-over" scenario is being young again--there are things I am now incapable of doing that I would enjoy doing again. But the real attraction is the chance to explore the paths in life I DIDN'T take, just to see where they might lead me. I may or may not repeat the same mistakes, but I would enjoy pursuing the "what might have been" scenarios. And yes, getting rich in the stock market would be a selfishly enjoyable experience. And it would afford me the opportunity to live as I please and pursue whatever adventures I desired. And for the record, yes, "stupidity juice" would most certainly be part of that life.
As to the metaphysics, I won't pretend to know how any of it would work. I read something somewhere once that talked about a metaverse--countless parallel worlds existing that contain the realities of all the paths in life you might have taken. So, Frost's road less traveled led to one of those alternate worlds. Yes, I'm not even going to bother with making the logistics make sense. It's just a fantasy to help me sleep at night, but honestly, given the void of nothingness after death, my do-over scenario is much more appealing. It is eternal life in a "Groundhog Day" kind of way.
I don't consider this life to have been hellish (it had its moments), but it is by far the best life I've ever lived. I'd live it again and again, warts and all, especially if the only alternative is an eternity of darkness. In my fantasy, I wouldn't have to relive infancy; I could go back and start at any of those crossroads and take it from there. One of my favorite scenarios is going back to high school and starting over there. I'd lay off the weed, study harder, and enlist in the military when I graduated. I'd spend the next twenty years traveling the world in the service of my Uncle Sam (and if I got killed in a war, welp, I'd just start the next do-over). I'd retire at 40 with a pension, have a portfolio of tech stocks, and live whatever life I wanted.
It's nice to have a dream, but I always know that I am living the dream now, and I'm in no hurry to see it end. When that day comes, I'd just like to do it again and explore new roads along the way. Maybe that is pointless, but it's better than nothing.
I don't consider this life to have been hellish (it had its moments), but it is by far the best life I've ever lived.
DeleteWell, problem solved, then! No need for any do-overs! If it's your best life, then what could possibly be gained by exploring the would-haves and could-haves and should-haves? Logically speaking, if this is your best life, then those paths aren't even possibilities! Because what could be better than your best life?
See, that's the thing: you're still not making sense. If this is your best life, you'd be so satisfied with it that you'd have no interest in unexplored paths or re-experiencing youth or living an alternate life. You also wouldn't be making so much noise about regrets and do-overs. You would be content, right where you are. Unfortunately, your blog is a years-long record that this is not true, and that you still refuse to see yourself clearly and realistically.
So... is this really your best life, or isn't it?
Here's my not-so-humble recommendation: if you really are sincerely an atheist and nonreligious, then just accept that what comes after death is a big nothing—no heaven, no hell, no peace, no lack of peace, not even blackness because blackness requires consciousness of color. Death means no consciousness at all. The implication is that this life is all you have; this moment is all that's yours. So live it deeply, not distracted by superficiality or drowned in alcohol, which prevents you from reaching any sort of depth and only leads to bad, stupid decisions.
And if you must contemplate an afterlife for whatever bizarre, irrational reason, ask yourself: what heaven would you want for Christine? Don't even think about the egocentric heaven you want for yourself. If you do keep thinking about your own heaven, though, that says something about your character.
Challenge: go one month on your blog without once mentioning a do-over life or regrets or "just accept the Filipino way" (which is just a way of saying "I'm holding my temper"). Convince me that you really are living your best life right now. And don't do it just for me: do it for yourself.
By calling this my "best life," I was alluding to the fact that it is my only life, and therefore, by default, it must be my best life. Yes, my vision of a do-over is nothing more than a selfish fantasy, not something I believe can or will happen. Reflecting on the possibility of having a second chance to live my life is somehow comforting as my time winds down.
DeleteAnyway, challenge accepted. I'll keep my thoughts on this subject to myself.
So not your best life at all, then, not in the way we normally use the term. Well, if you insist on indulging in a comforting fantasy, then from an atheist's standpoint, there's not much separating you from religious people.
Delete