I ordered a new windbreaker/raincoat from Coupang (first mistake: in Korea, I qualify as "big & tall," and an American expat can't expect "normal" American sizes from a Korean purveyor) to replace the Uniqlo windbreaker/raincoat—a hand-me-down gift from my boss—that got ruined over time thanks to its cheap-ass interior lining. The jacket arrived today, looking suspiciously tiny in its plastic packaging. I pulled the jacket out and liked the feel of the material, but when I unfolded the jacket to appraise it in all of its fullness, my heart sank: I could already see how narrow the shoulders were. Stupidly determined, I nevertheless tried the jacket on, but as I suspected, my arms could barely fit through the sleeves, and the jacket, despite supposedly being 3XL, couldn't even close around my torso.
Because I'm lazy about onerous return policies, and because I don't want to waste the jacket, I'm going to stick it in the clothing hamper downstairs—the one for the poor and homeless. I hope someone will eventually find a use for the jacket. Someone the right size. And when that person finds that jacket, a magical voice will boom from out of nowhere: Well done! And now, O mortal, ask of me your wishes three or face the ass-piglets of the thirty-third hell!
No comments:
Post a Comment
READ THIS BEFORE COMMENTING!
All comments are subject to approval before they are published, so they will not appear immediately. Comments should be civil, relevant, and substantive. Anonymous comments are not allowed and will be unceremoniously deleted. For more on my comments policy, please see this entry on my other blog.
AND A NEW RULE (per this post): comments critical of Trump's lying must include criticism of Biden's or Kamala's or some prominent leftie's lying on a one-for-one basis! Failure to be balanced means your comment will not be published.