Monday, April 27, 2026

you wanna do it right?

Because it's becoming painfully embarrassing to watch these people work as they fruitlessly try again and again, here are some pro tips to help out our bumblers:

  1. Don't work alone. Work in coordinated teams with a command structure.
  2. Have a plan that's more complicated than "just charge on in" or "lie on rooftop."
  3. Have a Plan B.
  4. Rehearse.
  5. Understand that no plan survives first contact with the enemy. Have a Plan C.
  6. Either know your escape routes or plan to off yourselves.
  7. Understand that, if you're successful, you'll probably have initiated a civil war, and there will be no mercy.

Frankly, I hope the people whose job is to prevent this kind of disaster are reading this, too.


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