surprise, surprise

With all eyes staring fixedly at Hunter Biden, the Secret Service has concluded its investigation and, in defiance of the obvious, found no suspect for the free-roaming cocaine in the White House. It's a miracle!

Headline:

White House cocaine investigation concluded, no suspect ID’d: Secret Service

The Secret Service has ended its investigation into cocaine found earlier this month in the West Wing of the White House without identifying a suspect, GOP members of the House Oversight Committee told The Post Thursday.

Rep. Tim Burchett (R-Tenn.) stormed out of a briefing offered to lawmakers moments after it began, calling the conclusion “bogus” and the investigation a “complete failure.”

“They know who goes in the White House. They have facial identification, they have — y’all know you can’t go in there without giving your Social Security number anyway, and to say that it’s just some weekend visitor, that’s bogus,” Burchett said. “Nobody’s buying that at all.”

Republican lawmakers confirmed that roughly one gram of the illicit drug was found July 2 in a storage locker inside the West Wing executive entrance, and that no cameras were in position to capture footage of the culprit. The cocaine was found in the 15th of 182 lockers with the key missing, according to Rep. Lauren Boebert (R-Colo.).

As the bitter joke goes, if this had been a bag of anthrax, we'd have discovered everything right away. As the other joke goes, if this had happened on Trump's watch, the media would have been screaming for a deeper and deeper investigation while calling for Trump's head yet again. But Biden is a Democrat, and the door only ever swings one way.