Thursday, September 01, 2011

Bernard Pivot interviews me

Popularized by James Lipton of "Inside the Actors Studio," the list of questions by French TV host Bernard Pivot makes for a fitting Big Hominid interview template as my birthday draws to a close and I begin my 43rd year of existence.

1. What is your favorite word?


2. What is your least favorite word?


3. What turns you on?

A cute face, nice boobs, and a beautiful mind. Also: the right kind of irrationality.

4. What turns you off?

People who, in a public context, disrespect others' right to watch a movie or eat a meal in peace.

5. What sound or noise do you love?

The gentle, wet slapping sound of my scrotum against a female perineum.

6. What sound or noise do you hate?

The sound of someone else's scrotum on that same perineum. Context matters.

7. What is your favorite curse word?

Fuck! (or) Putain de merde de chie de bordel...

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

Actor, cartoonist, writer, professor. Neurosurgeon.

9. What profession would you not like to do?

Shark erectile dysfunction therapist.

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

"I'm sending you back to Earth as Miss America's clitoris."


1 comment:

Bratfink said...

I watched Lipton's show for quite a while, and of all the answers to all those questions I only remember Robin Williams' when asked the first one.

He said "cloaca".