Monday, May 21, 2012

fill in the blanks

1. When hell is full...

a. the dead will walk the earth.
b. Linda will give me a rimjob.
c. stocks will rise.
d. my Thermos will be empty.

2. I'll come out when I'm good and ____ !

a. shaven
b. plenty
c. ready
d. evil

3. "Give me liberty, or give me _____ !"

a. baguettes
b. Monica Bellucci
c. my scrotum back
d. death

4. The above was uttered by...

a. St. Patrick
b. Patrick Stewart
c. Patrick Duffy
d. Patrick Henry

5. Hell hath no fury like...

a. a man de-porned.
b. a hamster with a chopstick up its ass.
c. Chuck Norris.
d. a woman scorned.

6. A dog is man's best...

a. friend.
b. drinking buddy.
c. confessor.
d. sex partner.

7. When Oppenheimer witnessed an atomic explosion at Alamogordo, he was reminded of this famous quote:

a. "You better get it up, or I'm gonna have to kill ya'!" ("Blade Runner")
b. "Stella!" (A Streetcar Named Desire)
c. "I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds." (Bhagavad Gita)
d. "I have a bad feeling about this." (every Star Wars movie)

8. Einstein famously observed that "God does not _____ the universe."

a. shit on
b. fuck with
c. play dice with
d. drunk-dial

9. Ronald Reagan, while standing at the Berlin Wall, demanded: "Mr. Gorbachev, ___ this wall!"

a. lick
b. worship
c. make love to
d. tear down

10. "Silver white winters that melt into spring..."

a. "These are a few of my favorite things."
b. "This is a taste of the darkness I bring."
c. "I found a toe in my bucket of wings."
d. "Marilyn knows how to handle my thing."



  1. Since correct answers aren't nearly as much fun...

    1. c
    2. b
    3. b (no brainer)
    4. b
    5. c (b is properly called a "hamstersicle")
    6. b
    7. d
    8. b (although an argument could also be made for d)
    9. c
    10. b (see #8)

    Hmm. A lot of b answers...

  2. I had thought about publishing an "answer key" in the same spirit as your answers. My own choices would have been:

    1. b
    2. a
    3. b (of course)
    4. b
    5. a (this came from Scary Spasms)
    6. b
    7. a
    8. d
    9. a
    10. c

    Some similarities, some differences.



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