Thursday, July 12, 2012

shoulder booger

I cover my mouth with my hand when I sneeze-- I don't thrust my face into the crook of an elbow. Old habits die hard, I guess, and I suppose I also fear the potential for me to pull away from an especially violent sneeze with a thick rope of snot connecting my face to my sleeve. That would be an unforgivable sartorial faux pas. A hand over the face-holes is much more tasteful and discreet.

But hands have their disadvantages, as I belatedly realized today. At one point during an afternoon tutoring session I sneezed, reflexively covering my mouth with my hand... and inadvertently guiding a prize-winning chunk of snot onto my right shoulder, where it sat leering spitefully at my students like a pirate's parrot. I didn't notice this sorry fact until God-know-how-many minutes later, at which point I whirled in my swivel chair and deftly batted the offending booger off my person. Jesus, I hope nobody noticed that echoed lamely through by brain, but I knew that at least one student had had ample opportunity to sight the nose boulder. What a shame.

So today, for an unknown period of time, I wore the rank insignia of a flag officer of the Narine Corps. It could have been worse, I suppose: the snot could have been wet.



Bratfink said...

I feel your pain.

One time while I was checking out groceries at a store I felt the need to clear my throat.

Imagine my horror when a huge lugie (loogie?) throat booger launched itself out of my throat and mouth (which I had not covered)and landed on the belt that carried all the groceries to me.

Since the belt was moving I quickly reached out and wiped it with my bare hand and wiped it on my jeans and said a weak "Sorry about that" to the customers.

I still die when I think about it and ALWAYS cover my mouth since then, no matter where I am or what I'm doing.

Kevin Kim said...

Your nightmare story sounds a lot like this.

Bratfink said...

I could have gone all day without reading that.

Elisson said...

I could have gone all my life without reading that.


(Actually, you're already aware that I appreciate a good Booger Story as much as pretty much anyone.)