Tuesday, November 21, 2017

Ave, Charles!

My buddy Charles, still in the States but coming back to Korea in a few weeks, sends me this humorous link to the "Celebrity Perv Apology Generator."

Just as pedophilia is now collecting defenders, I think we're going to learn, soon enough, that whacking off in front of female employees and assistants, rubbing one's erection against a woman's leg, and raping a woman while she's asleep are all just legitimate lifestyle choices.

A hilarious example of an apology from the above-linked site:

As the father of daughters, I feel tremendously guilty now that the things I did have been made public. I imagined that any woman would have been thrilled to see a tiny penis peeking out from below my pasty, middle-aged paunch like the head of a geriatric albino turtle moments from death, and of course now I realize my behavior was wrong. In conclusion, I will get the help I so desperately need because this isn’t actually my fault, I have a problem so I’m not responsible for my actions.

(apologies for punctuation)

And courtesy of Dr. V, we have this blog entry from fellow philosopher Keith Burgess-Jackson about how men ought to conduct themselves around women:

In light of recent events, I have some advice for men:

1. Don't touch a woman without her specific consent. Consent, to be consent, must be informed. Don't resort to trickery, subterfuge, dissimulation, or manipulation (including getting her drunk or high).
2. Compartmentalize your life, difficult though that may be. No flirting, romance, compliments, or sexual jokes or comments at work.
3. Don't make women feel uncomfortable, even in a public place where you are equals. If she rebuffs your advance(s), leave her alone. She is not interested in you as a romantic or sexual partner.
4. Stay away from underage females. Nothing good (and much bad) can come of it.
5. Be a gentleman, not a brute or a lout. Think courtship, which is respectable, not seduction, which is sleazy. Real men respect women, which means respecting women's autonomy.
6. If it's hard for you to imagine how a particular woman feels while she is interacting with you, imagine that she is your sister (or mother) and ask whether you would want a man treating her as you're thinking of treating her.

Good advice.


Charles said...

Good advice indeed. A bit mind-boggling that it now has to be spelled out like that, but I guess that's the world we live in.

(Alternatively, I was thinking that offenders might be, as part of their rehabilitation, be required to read the complete works of Jane Austen.)

John Mac said...

Even in my horn-dog hey day, I knew that women at work were off limits. I guess the first thing my boss told me when I got promoted into management was "don't dip your pen in company ink". Or maybe it was "don't fish off the company pier". But yeah.