productive, unproductive

Vacation is over, Poison Girls. Back to the grind tomorrow. I'm sad we didn't get the full week off; would've been nice to go on a long hike somewhere, but given my zipper disaster, maybe it's better that I did my 34K and little else.

Overall, this was a very productive vacation in terms of finishing up my little book and getting it both published online and ready for dead-tree printing (which I'll do tomorrow; I expect the actual printing will take a few days, but at least I'll drop off the data and let the printers work their magic). I had originally planned for this book to be out around the fall of this year, but the muse struck hard, the words came pouring out, and here we are, standing happily amid a huge, steaming pile of book. I'm sure it's nothing like the actual feeling of giving birth, but I do feel an almost postpartum sense of relief at getting the book out of my system. Now, I just have to see how people react to my creation, and how many choose to buy it. As for those of you who are friends and friendly acquaintances... I'll mail you a free hard copy of the book if you want one. Just email me at bighominid@gmail.com. I am but to serve.

In terms of diet and exercise, though, January was almost as much of a wash as the final two weeks of December. I'm not expecting good numbers at my doctor's appointment this coming March, but I guess we'll see. One thing I've come to realize, intellectually if not emotionally, is how little value there is in eating the sweet shit I crave. Sugar addiction really is an addiction, and after I've indulged in an orgy of sweets-eating and soda-drinking, I'm left feeling pretty spent and empty, like a Roman in the high days of empire after his fifth orgy in a row. Even cooking for myself on cheat days feels somehow superficial. I've further come to realize that cooking for others is much more meaningful, as is (and I hate to admit this as an introvert) eating with other people—talking, conversing, laughing, joking. These things all make eating much more meaningful.

Anyway, they say one of the problems faced by people like me is our attitude toward food. I'm still trying to figure out what a healthy attitude is; bear with me as I continue on this often-fruitless journey.

So overall, this break was a mixed bag—super-productive in one sense, super-slobby in another. But break's over, now, and it's back to the grind tomorrow, so here's hoping I'm more serious in February than I've been since December 16.