I can relate

Since at least 2010, when Mom died, I've tried not to be like my father—a liar, a coward, and an idiot. I don't think I've succeeded, and I think the seeds of my dad's character lie within me. So yeah, there's some self-loathing on my part, and I despise these traits when they pop up in others: a tendency to avoid reality by constantly distorting it and reinterpreting it instead of aiming for hard-nosed, scientific empiricism; a desire to be liked and to ingratiate oneself with whatever crowd one is hanging with at the time, even if this means sounding conservative when you're really a liberal or vice versa (also known as getting along to go along); being evasive and passive-aggressive instead of being open and honest about what one does and doesn't want to do; a tendency to make the same mistakes and to commit the same sins over and over and over, never once learning anything; weakness and neediness and lack of self-discipline; spinelessness, lack of courage, and lack of intelligence.

But I know I've done idiotic things, and that I've been a moral coward in situations that called for backbone and conviction. As Dr. House likes to say, Everybody lies, and I've done my share of lying, too. So without getting too specific, I've been a liar, a coward, and an idiot, too. The apple didn't fall far from the tree. I'm not saying that the sum of who I am is defined by my father's faults, but I can't deny that those faults, and others, exist in me.