Thursday, June 09, 2016

guessing at steps tonight: 34K...? 36K...?

My damn phone kept turning on in my chest pocket while I was sweatily walking along, and it ran out of battery power about 35 minutes before my walk was done. I've let the phone charge a few minutes and have turned it back on... the fucking pedometer is registering zero steps for Wednesday, June 8, 2016. So it looks as though I'll have to piece together a step count.

On a day like today, I normally rack up about 6,500 steps at work. I left the office this evening at around 7:30 and walked continuously until 12:05AM, i.e., a little over 4.5 hours' walking. At a rate of about 102 steps per minute, a walk lasting 275 minutes comes out to 28,050 steps. Add the previous 6,500 to that, and the total is a whopping 34,550 steps. This would have been listed as a record performance had my phone not crapped out on me.

God-fucking-dammit.

Anyway: 34K steps, 33 staircases, and a weigh-in at 122.6 kg—my lowest in a while. Keep in mind that my recent record low, over the past two years, has been 117 kg. I'm really not that far off; in a few weeks, I could be back to where I was in 2014.

Wait: I just checked my pedometer again. It's now displaying step info for June 8:

32,482 steps.

That's the number of steps recorded before the phone died; I walked another 35 minutes after that, so if we add 3,500 steps, we get 35,982—which is definitely a new record. Shit. Francis Ford Fuckola.

I suppose I'll need to face my phone's touch screen outward in my chest pocket from now on, so as to prevent my sweaty, bouncing chesticles from rubbing the screen and accidentally activating it. That, or I need to start carrying my phone around in a Ziploc bag.


_

6 comments:

John John McCrarey said...

Outstanding! Er, I guess Outwalking is more apt. Either way, good job!

Charles said...

I guess a pants pocket solution is not viable?

Kevin Kim said...

Charles,

I've always been averse to putting my cell phone in a pants pocket. If it's a back pocket, you can inadvertently snap the phone in half when you sit down. If it's a side/hip pocket, your phone can either get scraped by your keys or quietly demagnetize the credit cards in your wallet. (I know there was a "Mythbusters" episode that concluded you'd need a super-powerful magnet to damage your credit cards, but my own experience while walking out west was that your phone produces a field strong enough to mess up hotel key cards, which means, to me, that there's potential to damage other cards as well.) Also, if your phone ends up sitting against the fold of your hip while in your hip pocket, it can again get crushed when you sit down (in my case, anyway). So I prefer to keep my phone in my chest pocket, if I'm wearing a shirt with one. After one horrific toilet incident involving a much earlier phone, I've learned to press my hand against my chest to hold my phone in my pocket whenever I bend over.

Charles said...

If it's a back pocket, you can inadvertently snap the phone in half when you sit down.

I never put anything in my back pocket, except maybe slips of paper. This is mostly because of my bony rear end. It's also the easiest location to pickpocket. Not that you really have to worry about that here, but old habits die hard.

If it's a side/hip pocket, your phone can either get scraped by your keys or quietly demagnetize the credit cards in your wallet. (I know there was a "Mythbusters" episode that concluded you'd need a super-powerful magnet to damage your credit cards, but my own experience while walking out west was that your phone produces a field strong enough to mess up hotel key cards, which means, to me, that there's potential to damage other cards as well.)

I actually keep my wallet and stuff in my left pocket and my phone in my right pocket, and never the twain shall meet.

The first thing I thought upon reading that section, though, was: "Wait, you have keys?" I own one key--the key to our car--and that is rarely on me since I rarely drive. Someday in the not-too-distant future even that key will be gone, and I will be keyless.

Maven said...

Just a bit of perspective:

My norm foot step count per day ranges from 2500 to 3500; on vacation that goes up to 10K-14K.

I cannot even fathom the amount of footsteps you are racking up!

Bratfink said...

Don't they have things like weird pockets you wear on your upper arm for phones? If you were here I'd make one for you somehow. I'd use velcro on it so it would be easy to attach.